


Trigger Quartet

by Red_Reef



Category: BNA: Brand New Animal, Kill la Kill (Anime & Manga), Little Witch Academia, 宇宙パトロールルル子 | Space Patrol Luluco (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, F/F, F/M, Humor, Parody, Ryuko is So Done, Satsuki Light Show (C), Studio Trigger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Reef/pseuds/Red_Reef
Summary: One day, a magic button suddenly appears. The protagonists in Kill La Kill, Little Witch Academia, Space Patrol Luluco, and BNA: Brand New Animal all press the button and move to a parallel world where a new story featuring high school life begins.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Gamagoori Ira/Mankanshoku Mako, Kagemori Michiru & Ogami Shirou, Kiryuuin Satsuki & Matoi Ryuuko, Luluco/Alpha Omega Nova
Comments: 15
Kudos: 62





	1. Come Together, Quartet!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! Just recently saw the newest addition to Trigger’s outstanding repertoire and it looks as amazing as expected of the creators of KLK and LWA! In celebration of Trigger’s newest anime, I couldn’t resist writing this, which is inspired by another anime, Isekai Quartet. This won’t be a serious story like Akko and Ruby, but it’s something fun to come back to from time to time, especially with the Akko series about to head into serious territory.
> 
> So, without further ado: Trigger Quartet!

**_Luna Nova Magical Academy_ **

It was finally the first day of spring, which meant that it was also the first day of spring break. And because of that, most of the halls at Luna Nova Magical Academy were quiet for the first time in months. No gossiping girls or random spell casting in the hallways; just a few staff members and worker fairies. After all, spring break was the joyous time when students were finally released from their academic prison.

Which is why Atsuko “Akko” Kagari groaned loudly into her textbook in the school’s library.

Akko knew she would have to stay at Luna Nova over the break to make up her terrible grades from the last semester, but she would have thought she would be able to goof off a little before getting down to business.

Sadly, her hopes were dashed when Diana “Little Miss Perfect” Cavendish volunteered to stay at Luna Nova as well, if only to keep an eye on Akko; a sentiment that was widely shared with the teachers. Diana was the only person in the whole school with enough patience to deal with the Luna Nova’s problem child.

And it wasn’t just Akko that got roped into to this impromptu study session either. Lotte and Sucy were sitting on either side of her, both of them having chose to stay for the summer for their own personal reasons, and the green team of Amanda, Jasminka, and Constanze were also sticking around because they accumulated so much detention in only a handful of months.

Akko let out another whine, which drew an exasperated sigh from Diana sitting at the head of the table.

“Whining about it isn’t going to make things go faster, Akko,” said Diana coolly. “You should just hurry up and do your work.”

“ _But Dianaaaaa…._ ” Akko moaned. “It’s spring break…. Can’t we do this later…?”

“That kind of mentality is what got you into this situation in the first place,” said Diana, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Just do your work and be done with it.”

“But I don’t wanna…,” Akko whined. “I wanna play….”

“I don’t have to be here you know,” said Diana, grimacing. “I could be back home right now helping with the restoration to the Cavendish House, but I chose to be here instead because you needed help. Professor Ursula even got us permission to use the library. So you could stand to show a little more gratitude.”

Akko grumbled under her breath.

“Don’t worry, Akko, we’re here to help if you need it,” said Lotte kindly.

“Not me,” said Sucy bluntly. “I only stayed because I have a deal with a black-market trader about some…less than legal mushrooms later this week.”

“Yeah, why’re we here, anyway?” Amanda asked impatiently, gesturing to herself, Jasminka, and Constanze, who were both doing their own thing. “We don’t have any make-up work.”

“No, but someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t cause any more trouble,” said Diana dutifully. “Now everyone stop complaining and get back to work. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can leave.”

The table groaned again, but reluctantly started hitting the books. Akko pulled down one of the books on top of the teetering pile when something fell down and clattered on the table. The seven witches perked up at the noise and looked down. It was a simple square box with only a single red button on it. Akko picked it up and looked it over curiously.

“What’s this?”

* * *

**_S.S. Naked Sun_ **

The night sky above twinkled with the light of many stars above, the air filled with the gentle lapping of the waves hitting against the hull of the Nudist Beach’s carrier. It was remarkable the ship was even still afloat after the near disaster that Ryuko had (unwillingly) brought down upon her enemies-turned-allies. A fact the pink-haired, music themed snake saw fit to remind her every time they made eye contact.

Ryuko Matoi hanged back a few feet away, hands stuffed in her pockets, as her sister, Satsuki Kiryuin, addressed the five members of Honnoji’s Student Council and her best friend, Mako Mankanshoku, all of them equipped with new uniforms ready for the final confrontation ahead.

Ryuko’s mind was still reeling from the fact that her most hated enemy for almost a year was actually her big sister, who had set up this whole elaborate plot for the sole purpose of getting revenge against their mother. And that’s not even getting into the fact that their mother was a genocidal maniac or that Ryuko was part alien. When did her life turn into an animated soap opera?

“ **You’re awfully quiet,** ” Ryuko’s sentient sailor uniform, Senketsu, said. “ **Something on your mind?** ”

“A lot, actually,” Ryuko answered quietly, not wanting to interrupt Satsuki’s speech.

“ **I imagine you would,** ” said Senketsu. “ **A lot has changed in a very short time. Enemies become friends. Your family suddenly became much larger. And we’ve both made startling revalations. But the one thing that will never change…is that I will always be there when you need me, Ryuko.** ”

“Heh, thanks, Sanketsu,” said Ryuko gratefully.

“ **At least until something really bad happens to me,** ” said Senketsu. “ **Like, I don’t know, I get burned away reentering the Earth’s atmosphere or something.** ”

“That’s any oddly specific way to die,” Ryuko noted, sweatdropping.

“ **Hey, it could happen,** ” remarked Senketsu.

“ – almost upon us!” Satsuki yelled in her usual overdramatic tone. “Prepare yourselves, my friends! Whether we win or lose, this will be our final battle! As such, we must give everything we have and aim for nothing short of victory!”

“Yes, Lady Satsuki!” The Student Council cried with simultaneous salutes; Mako replied with a cheery, “Okay!”

“Yeesh, everything she does is so overblown,” said Ryuko amusing.

“ **That makes it easier to tell that you two are sisters,** ” said Senketsu jokingly.

“Huh?” said Ryuko with a raised brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ryuko,” The dark-haired delinquent looked up as Satsuki approached, her expression rigid and stern. “Ryuko…it’s almost time. Soon we will face our mother.”

“Yeah…gonna be one hell of a family reunion,” said Ryuko.

“Before we go, there is something that must be done first,” said Satsuki.

Ryuko blinked curiously at her older sister, wondering what she was thinking –

A few seconds, Ryuko was fighting off the surge of embarrassment as Satsuki finished strapping the bicycle helmet on her head, after strapping on the additional elbow and kneepads. She could hear Jakuzure and Sanageyama laughing at her behind their hands and shot a dark glare at them; that only made them laugh harder.

“Uh, Satasuki, what’s this for?” asked Ryuko uncomfortably.

“Some extra protection to keep you from getting hurt during battle,” Satsuki answered before wrapping a scarf she got from who knows where around Ryuko’s neck. “I also got you this scarf in case you get cold, and some mittens, too. And you’ll need an umbrella and some galoshes in case it starts raining, and some heat packs as well. I had Mrs. Mankanshoku make you a bento in case you get hungry, and take this med kit for any potential injuries. And – “

Ryuko felt deeply mortified as Satsuki kept piling on more items that were essentially unnecessary for her; her Life Fiber DNA made her immune to pretty much all of that stuff. Looking over at the Student Council, she realized that it wasn’t just Sanageyama and Jakuzure that was laughing at her now, but Gamagoori, Inumuta, and Iori were all grinning and snickering when Satsuki wasn’t looking. Mako, of course, was paying attention to something only she could see.

Ryuko felt her entire face heat up; she hadn’t been this embarrassed since the first time she put on Senketsu.

“Hey, Sats,” Ryuko spoke up as Satsuki started slathering her up in sunscreen (“ _It’s the middle of the night!_ ”) “Don’t you think this stuff is a little much?”

“Nothing is too much for keeping my adorable little sister safe!” Satsuki snapped in a very serious and unwavering tone. “Now hold still while I apply the insect repellent.”

“Adora – what the hell is going on here?!” Ryuko shrieked; her head was practically steaming.

“ **I believe Satsuki has turned into what you would call a siscon,** ” said Senketsu, his voice laced with amusement.

“Oh god,” Ryuko groaned. “I’m starting to miss the days when we tried to kill each other.”

And while everyone’s attention was focused on the strange, yet hilarious, new dynamic of the Kiryuin sisters, Mako walked away from the group as something caught her eye. On the floor of the carrier, barely visible through the rubble, was a strange metal box with an alluring red button….

* * *

**_Luna Nova Magical Academy_ **

Akko and the other witches-in-training leaned forward, some of them tilting their heads at the strange button that magically appeared out of nowhere. Now, having things popping out of thin air was nothing new at Luna Nova, but it tended to involve some kind of magical creature or something similar. A quick wave of Diana’s wand immediately confirmed that it wasn’t magical by origin, but they couldn’t really tell where it came from either.

“What do you think it is?” asked Lotte.

“Looks like some kind of button,” said Amanda. “Is it one of yours, Constanze?”

Constanze shook her head.

“Maybe Professor Croix dropped it,” Lotte suggested.

“Either way, it’s clearly suspicious,” said Diana.

“Hmm…,” Akko hummed, deeply in thought. “Let’s push it!”

“Did you not hear the part where it’s very suspicious?” Diana retorted with a blank look.

“C’mon, I wanna know what it does!” Akko complained. She tried reaching for it, but Lotte and Diana quickly surged forward to grab her by the arms. “Lemme push it! Just a little!”

“Were you born stupid or something?” said Amanda dumbfoundedly. “What kind of moron would push a suspicious button that just happened to appear. Even I’m not that ballsy.”

“We should have Professor Ursula or one of the teachers take a look at it!” said Lotte, struggling to hold back the flailing Japanese girl. “It could be dangerous.”

“Lotte is completely correct,” Sucy said suddenly, standing up from her chair. The other girls watched her closely. “It could be incredibly dangerous…so that’s why I’m gonna push it.”

“ _WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!_ ” Diana yelped, but was too late to stop the Filipino from jabbing the big red button with her index finger.

**_~DING-DONG~_ **

Everyone around the table braced themselves for whatever would come next…but after a few seconds of awkward silence, nothing happened. Sucy picked up the button, shaking it with a disappointed frown as if wondering why it wasn’t working. Diana, for her part, let out a relieved sigh…. At least until everyone noticed the library walls started warping strangely.

“Eh?” Akko stammered, looking back and forth frantically. “Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?”

“I knew it was a trap!” Amanda cried.

“Mmm…” Jasminka hummed, nonchalantly eating her way through her bottomless bucket. “Do you think I should’ve brought more snacks?”

“How can you think of food at a time like this?!” Amanda exclaimed frantically. Sucy gave a thumbs-up with a wide, toothy grin. “And you better wipe that damn smirk off your face, you mushroom freak!”

“Wah! Diana!” Akko cried, clinging to the blonde witch like a koala. “The world’s getting all weird! Diana!”

“You’re the one who wanted to push the button in the first place!” Diana snapped.

As the seven witch students descended into deeper levels of chaos-induced panic, the library distorted more wildly until the colors started to blend together and it became impossible to tell what was what any more, all the while the girls remained untouched by whatever strange phenomena was causing it. In the midst of her fright, Akko spotted something flashing in the corner of her eye. But when she looked around, the whole world became consumed in an explosion of white light –

A moment later, the library returned to its normal form, but the Little Witches were nowhere to be found.

* * *

**_S.S. Naked Sun_ **

By now, Ryuko was trying to ward off the uncharacteristically pushy Satsuki as she advanced on her little sister brandishing a can of bug spray like a weapon. Ryuko noticed that Inumuta was openly recording the whole thing on his phone.

“Stop resisting, Ryuko!” Satsuki demanded. “Do you know how many diseases insects like mosquitoes carry?”

“It doesn’t matter; I’m immune to everything, remember?” Ryuko snarled, fighting valiantly to push her sister away.

Meanwhile, Mako kneeled down in front of the strange device on the floor, the big, shiny red button drawing her in like a moth to a flame. It was so big and colorful; the temptation is too great for any human to resist! So, naturally, she pushed it without hesitation.

**_~DING-DONG~_ **

Ryuko and Satsuki ceased their struggling as the bell chimed loudly through the air. The student council looked around curiously for the source of the noise. It was Sanageyama who, with his heightened sense of hearing, zeroed in on Mako, whose finger was still pushing down on the button with an oddly fixed look in her eyes.

Nothing happened at first…and then, quite suddenly, the world began to warp erratically around the heroes.

“BWAH! WHAT’S GOING ON!” Jakuzure shrieked.

“Are we being attacked?” Gamagoori growled, shifting into battle stance.

“It appears to be some sort of transdimensional anomaly,” said Inumuta with a surprisingly cool face, though his fingers were flying wildly across his personal laptop. “But I can’t figure out the origin of said anomaly.”

“What’d you do, Mankanshoku!” Sanageyama snapped at Mako.

“Uh, oopsie,” said Mako, sticking her tongue out cutely.

“ _MAKO/MANKANSHOKU!_ ” everyone screamed at once.

As the temporal distortion reached its zenith, a bright flash of white light consumed the world. When the brightness faded, the world was returned to its natural form, but the heroes were no longer present.

* * *

** TRIGGER QUARTET **

**Episode One: Come together, Quartet!**

* * *

Ryuko’s senses were jarred by a distant chiming noise. It sounded like a school bell, but not the one used at Honnoji; more like the one from the school she went to before transferring.

Her senses returned to her slowly as the pale light faded. She blinked and rubbed the spots from her eyes before looking around.

Satsuki, Mako, and the rest of Honnoji’s student council were all present and accounted for. And they all appeared to be standing in the middle of what looked like a sports field. Ahead of them at the top of a small slope was a plain-looking building with no defining characteristics, but Ryuko could automatically tell that it was supposed to be a high school; it looked like every unimaginative high school in every slice-of-life manga ever. But the fact that they were standing on school grounds instead of an aircraft carrier out at sea raised a lot more questions.

“Wh-What is this place?” Gamagoori gasped shockingly.

“It looks like an ordinary high school,” said Inumuta, amazingly still holding his laptop. “Though it is strange. I can’t seem to find any information on this place, or even track our location on GPS radar. It’s almost as if we’re not on Earth anymore.”

“Or…,” said Satsuki slowly, “could it be that we’ve been transported to another world different from our own.”

“Wha? Are you serious?” Sanageyama yelled. “Okay, alien clothes are one thing, but no one said anything about going to other worlds!”

“Excuse me!”

The eight students of Honnoji turned around simultaneously as someone approached them from the side.

A young Japanese girl dressed in what could be recognized as a purple school uniform came running up to their group waving her hand in the air, though Satsuki had never seen a school uniform likes hers anywhere in Japan. Standing a short distance away from them, a small group of six more girls were wandering around lost and confused as they were, all of them wearing the same uniform with the only difference being the color of their belts. Oddly enough, none of them appeared Japanese; the blonde girl looked closer to an English noble.

“Uh, I have a question,” said Akko, stopping in front of Satsuki, who stood a head taller than herself. “Do you know where we are?”

“We…honestly don’t know ourselves,” said Satsuki honestly, turning her head toward the school building. “I’ve never seen this place before.”

“Hmm, it kinda looks like we’re back in Japan,” Akko hummed thoughtfully with her arms crossed. “But that doesn’t make sense. How’d we get from England to Japan so fast?”

“You were in England before this?” asked Inumuta curiously.

“Yeah, right before this big flash of light swallowed us up!” Akko exclaimed dramatically, throwing her hands up in emphasis.

“Hey, the same thing happened to us,” said Ryuko interestingly.

“Akko, did you find anything?” asked Diana as she and the other Luna Nova girls approached, taking notice of the Honnoji students. “Oh, hello. Do you know where we are?”

“No, we were just discussing that,” said Satsuki. “Your friend was just telling us how you were ‘swallowed up’ by a great flash of light before you arrived here.”

“Yes, it was the strangest thing,” said Diana. “We were studying in the library when this suspicious button suddenly fell into ours laps. And then _somebody_ ” – she leered at Sucy, who grinned smugly – “decided to push it. Space started to bend around us and there was the great light. When we woke up, we found ourselves in this place.”

“The same thing happened to us,” said Ryuko. “Although, I don’t remember pushing any buttons….”

“I pushed a button!” Mako suddenly jumped in between them cheerfully.

“Mako, why would you do that?!” Ryuko asked in disbelief.

“I wanted to know what it did,” Mako answered simply.

“Great,” Jakuzure groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Should’ve known the underachiever would be responsible for this somehow.”

“Well, there’s no point in complaining about it now,” said Sanageyama exasperatedly. “So, Lady Satsuki, what should we do now?”

“It’s time for you all to go to class!”

The Honnoji and Luna Nova students turned at the over-exaggeratedly gruff voice; their expressions instantly morphed into various shades of disbelief.

After alien clothes and magical monsters, you wouldn’t think anything could surprise them anymore, but a skeleton wreathed in purple flames seemed to push the envelope for them. Said skeleton was dressed up in a leather cop uniform for some reason and exaggeratedly long ruby glasses. And – where the hell did that black ornate desk come from, anyway?

“…………………………………………….”

“The bell has already rung!” the flaming skeleton shouted again. “Hurry up and get to class! JUSTICE!”

The flaming skeleton, and his desk, slid sideways out of view.

“…so no one is going to comment on the talking skeleton that just told us to go to class?” Iori spoke up after a moment of awkward pause.

“Eh, I once brought the headmistress’s dad back to life,” said Akko, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. “It’s nothing new.”

“…I’m sorry, you did what now?” said Diana, turning to the Japanese girl with a blank look. Akko pointedly looked away and whistled innocently.

* * *

And that’s how the combined group of fifteen high school students found themselves seated in Class 3 on the second floor of the school building. They didn’t even know if that’s where they were supposed to be since there was no one to guide them, but they all innately sensed it was the place they were supposed to be.

There were twenty-four empty desks waiting for them. The Eight from Honnoji Academy took the open seats on the front right of the class; Satsuki Ryuko, and Mako in the first row, Jakuzure, Inumuta, and Iori in the row behind them, and Gamagoori and Sanageyama in the third row. The girls from Luna Nova took the chairs in the front left of the room: the red team and green team took up their own rows while Diana took the seat directly behind Akko. But Diana wasn’t sitting alone, as she quickly discovered looking to her right.

For some reason, there was already a few strangers sitting in class by the time the others had showed up. All three of them were wearing baby-blue and white jumpsuits and had colored helmets sitting on their desks with what looked like police lights on attached to them.

The one sitting next to Diana was a redheaded wearing a star hairclip. On the opposite side was an impossibly handsome blonde man that with an emotionless look in his eyes that made Diana feel a strange sense of déjà vu. And the girl sitting behind them wasn’t even human, but a blue-skinned, purple-haired alien with three eyes that looked like she could be related to Sucy. This day just keeps getting weirder….

Which is exactly the same though that Luluco had as she looked around nervously.

‘ _Hold up! Hold up! What’s going on here!_ ’ thought Luluco anxiously. ‘ _What is this place? How did we even get here? C’mon, Luluco, remember! Ogikubo got shoplifted and you were going on an adventure around the galaxy to get it back. I definitely know I’ve at least seen that mushroom girl before._ ’ She shot a hesitant glance toward Sucy. ‘ _We were heading to the next signal when we got attacked by mom…again. What happened after that…?_ ’

* * *

**_Somewhere in space_ **

Luluco was clinging to the controls of their dinky little spaceship, frantically trying to dodge the laser fire from her mom’s massively oversized and ostentatious super-mega space pirate ship. She shifted the stick back and forth, narrowly managing to dodge all the shots that came at them, but at the same time caused the rest of the crew to bounce back and forth around the ship walls.

And, even more unfortunate, the rest of the crew was completely useless: her dad was just a brain in an ice cube, Chief Over Justice just kept saying “Justice! Justice!” like a broken record, Miss Secretary offered no assistance, and Nova was completely uncaring about the life-and-death situation they were in. The only person with any common sense was Midori, but she was currently piled underneath rest of the team.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Midori yelled at her, shaking a blue fist. “We’re gonna get blown toe space dust! Press the button for the super black hole warp drive, now!”

“But I don’t know which one is for the super black hole warp drive!” Luluco screamed back.

“Are you kidding me?!” Midori shrieked. “It’s the big red button on the console!”

“But there are two big red buttons on the console!” Luluco cried. “Neither of them is labeled, so I don’t know which one I’m supposed to push!”

“Huh? Are you retarded?!” Midori snapped. “There’s only one big red button!”

Luluco looked down at the controls again. Despite what Midori said there were, in fact, two big red buttons on the dash in front of her. The only difference between them was the shape; the one on the left was a square and the one on the right was a circle.

“There are two buttons, not one!” Luluco screamed as the ship rattled ominously. “Two buttons!”

“Have you finally lost your damn mind?!” Midori howled.

“Insulting me isn’t going to make things better!” Luluco shouted tearfully.

“Just push the damn button already!” Midori yelled.

“Wah! All right, all right, I’ll push them both!” said Luluco.

The young space patrol officer raised both her fists dramatically over her head and slammed them both down on the big red buttons simultaneously –

**_~DING-DONG~_ **

* * *

‘ _And now we’re here,_ ’ Luluco finished her thoughts somberly. She glanced sideways out the windows. ‘ _At first glance, it kinda looks like we’re back on Earth. But –_ ‘

Her eyes shifted to the right toward the Honnoji Academy students where Ryuko and Satsuki were locked in deep conversation (“Why did we do what they told us to?” “Because he was a flaming skeleton, why wouldn’t we listen?” “Huh?! Don’t tell me Satsuki Kiryuin is actually scared of something!”) She craned her head back at the Luna Nova girls, instantly remembering her less than pleasant encounter with the mushroom girl and her previous knowledge of that particular world.

‘ _The ones over there look super serious – like they’re from some kind of battle manga or something,_ ’ thought Luluco. ‘ _And that mushroom girl is from some kind of magical fantasy world. Does that mean all of them have magic, too? How did we all end up here, anyway? Did everyone just get shoplifted from their own worlds and ended up here? Wait, were WE shoplifted, too?’_

“Oy! Don’t run in the hallway, Tanuki! You could break something!”

“It’s your fault we had to run because you had to chase that cat!”

“I thought it looked suspicious!”

The Honnoji Group, the Luna Nova Girls, and the Space Patrol perked up as one as loud voices carried across the hall outside. The two voices arguing were of a man and a woman, but there were multiple footsteps coming closer as the voices started getting louder. Several blurry shadows passed through the windows as they approached the doors.

“Ara, ara, you two are always causing trouble ~”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, wea – “

“ ** _I’M – A – MINK!_** ”

“Anyway, it was Nazuna’s fault for not waking up on time!”

“Hey, I’m justified! An idol needs her beauty sleep! And what about Nina? It took her forever to meet up with us!”

“Daddy doubled the guards outside my room again. Geez, I seriously hate him.”

“Michiru, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Jackie. I had to go through hell to get the happiness I have here. It’s a little weird, but let’s ignore that, and for now – “

The door slid open, revealing the newest group to their already abnormal collection of students.

There were six of them in total – four girls and two men. The one leading the group was the strangest of the whole set, having the appearance of someone who had crossed a tanuki with a high school girl; a furry’s wet dream so to speak. Coming up behind her was a tall, pale-haired man in a trench coat that looked like he always had a scowl on his face. At the tanuki girl’s feet looked like the human equivalent of a teddy bear. Coming in from the tanuki girl’s other side was a tall and slender redhead with an easygoing expression. Standing over the redhead’s shoulder was a tan teenage girl with wavy blue hair staring at the classroom with drew curious eyes. And hanging around the back was a dark-skinned woman who seemed older than the rest with lavender dreadlocks and a toothy smirk that reminded everyone of Sucy and Midori.

“ – have a fun school life every day!” Michiru Kagemori concluded cheerfully.

But the tanuki girl immediately froze at the threshold of the classroom when she realized they weren’t the only ones there. Her dark teal eyes rolled over the eighteen students already in attendance, starting from Ryuko, who was the purest example of anime delinquency, to Satsuki and her abnormally large eyebrows, to the Luna Nova Girls with their wands out and ready, to the Space Patrollers in their space suits.

Michiru’s reaction, though overexaggerated, was understandable.

“WAH! A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS!”

“YOU’RE ONE TO TALK, TANUKI!” Ryuko snapped, jumping out of her seat.

“Sit down, Ryuko,” said Satsuki coolly.

“Oh great, there’s more of them,” Diana groaned, resting her head in her hands.

“The one in the middle kind reminds me of Akko when she screws up the animal transformation spell,” said Amanda jokingly.

“Hey, I’m an expert at that spell now; ask anyone!” Akko shouted defensively.

“This is kind of a bad situation, isn’t it?” said Nova monotonously.

“Eh, we’ve been in weirder spots than this,” said Midori passively. “At least they haven’t started blowing us up yet.”

“Clothes trying to conquer the world, a new sister that tried to kill me, a megalomaniac mother who’s _still_ trying to kill me, secret nudist organizations, and that freak Harime,” Ryuko recounted, slamming her face into the desk with a whining groan. “I am so done with this shit. Just make everything go back to normal.”

“ **Now, now, Ryuko, it’ll be all right,** ” said Senketsu comfortingly. “ **We’ll figure this out.** ”

“…you know, this doesn’t shock me as much as it should,” Michiru admitted.

“Considering we live in a world where people can change into giant beasts, that’s to be expected,” said Nazuna lightly. “Though a lot of them don’t seem…normal.”

“Like you two have any right to talk about what’s normal,” said Marie teasingly.

“There’s too little information to act upon,” said Shirou seriously. “For now, we should prepare for a fight.”

“Why do you also jump to the worst possible conclusion?” Michiru grimaced.

“Maybe they’re friendly,” said Nina optimistically. “The girls in the cute purple uniforms look nice. Especially the one with the ponytail.”

Michiru didn’t want to say anything to her friend; she had hoped their last experience with “friendly people” would make her a bit more cautious around strangers. The tanuki girl then felt something tugging at her jacket sleeve and looked down at Jackie, who stared up at her like a curious child.

“Michiru, are these people our new friends?” he asked.

“…Yeah, I guess so,” Michiru answered with a kind smile. “Even in weird situations like this, it’s always good to stay positive. So let’s make the most of this, all right!”

“Yeah!” Nazuna, Jackie, and Nina cheered, pumping their fists in the air; Shirou groaned into his palm and Marie snickered in the background.

There abnormal, insane, and logic-breaking school life is about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a list of the cast and where they most likely come from in their respective series:
> 
> LWA – Post-Episode 20  
> Akko, Lotte, Sucy, Amanda, Jasminka, Constanze, Diana
> 
> KLK – Mid-Episode 22  
> Ryuko, Satsuki, Mako, Gamagoori, Jakuzare, Sanageyama, Inumuta, Iori
> 
> SPL – Post-Episode 9  
> Luluco, Nova, Midori
> 
> BNA – No Idea  
> Michiru, Shiro, Nazuna, Marie, Nina, Jackie


	2. Tension! Introductions

Ryuko is so done with this shit.

For those of you who don’t know, this is how her day has gone so far: she was mind molested by her evil semi-immortal mother, jacked up by evil clothes, went to kill Mako (oh, and Satsuki’s group, too, I guess), snapped out of whatever stupid dream world she was stuck in, completely ripped off her skin to get out of said evil clothes, and formed an alliance with her former-enemy-now-overbearing-big-sister.

And that was before Mako pushed a strange button that transported them to some weird high school building in another world. Now she’s stuck in a room with Mako, Satsuki, and the Student Council along with a bunch of other weirdos. One group looked like they came from a fantasy book, another looked like they fell out of a sci-fi flick, and the last group weren’t even human despite appearances.

But you know what the icing on the freaky cake was? Her disheveled homeroom teacher from Honnoji, Mikisugi-sensei, just walking into class and writing on the chalkboard like it was another normal day.

“All right, everybody, eyes up here,” said Mikisugi, tapping the chalk against the board. “These are the rules for your new school life.”

Ryuko glanced up at the five lines written on the board. The so-called “rules” didn’t look like rules at all:

** Rules for School Life **

  * **Learn lots**
  * **Have lots of fun**
  * **No violence**
  * **Be nice to everyone**



Ryuko’s sure she’s broken all of those rules since day one at Honnoji.

“You guys are now fellow students,” Mikisugi continued. “So make sure you get along.”

“Oy, Mikisugi!” yelled Ryuko, raising her head.

“I’ve been your teacher for nine months, Ryuko,” said Mikisugi, sweatdropping. “Call me sensei.”

“Don’t care,” said Ryuko bluntly. “What the hell are we doing here?”

“School life,” Mikisugi answered like it was obvious.

“Yeah, I got that part the first time,” said Ryuko. “But the problem is… _lot of my classmates are definitely not normal!_ ”

The teenage delinquent was gesturing to certain people as she shouted dramatically. From the tanuki-faced Machiru to Luluco in her skintight spacesuit to Akko (Okay, that’s a little insulting, Akko thought. She’s was totally a normal high school student!)

“You shouldn’t judge people based on how they look,” Mikisugi tutted.

“Wow, you’re a real scumbag for judging people by their looks, Matoi,” said Sanageyama…facing the complete opposite direction of her.

“I don’t think you’ll have any problems in that department,” said Ryuko, sweatdropping. She turned back around to Mikisugi. “And like you have any right to say something like that, you exhibitionist pervert!”

“Exhibitionist pervert?” Luluco repeated strangely. “Shooould we be worried?” 

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Mikisugi suddenly. “This is a family-friendly school, so you’re not allowed using your Kamuis here.”

“What?/ **Why?** ” Ryuko and Senketsu yelped in unison; Ryuko jumped out of her seat.

“Think of your poor classmates if they saw you in your Kamuis,” said Mikisugi lightly. “It would be bad for their poor hearts. So be mindful of them, okay?”

“ **Well, I guess that makes sense,** ” Senketsu conceded. “ **Normal people would be downright disturbed by such public indecency.** ”

“And I’m just now realizing that I’ve been running around half naked for the last nine months like it’s normal,” Ryuko muttered with a cloud of dread hanging over her head.

Everyone outside of the Honnoji group appeared clueless about where their conversation was going. Then, Diana coughed importantly into her fist, rising from her seat with her hands folded behind her back, prim and proper like she always was when called upon by a teacher.

“Excuse me…sensei,” Diana said awkwardly, her tongue unaccustomed to the Japanese honorific. “If I am to understand correctly, you are telling us that we must undergo ‘school life’ with the rest of the people here. Is that right?”

“That would be correct,” said Mikisugi with an enigmatic smile.

“And if we refuse?” Diana questioned.

“You can’t refuse,” said Mikisugi cryptically, an ominous shadow casting over his face. “You would be punished for violating the school rules.”

* * *

** TRIGGER QUARTET **

**Episode Two: Tension! Introductions**

* * *

Luluco had been staring for a while now, Midori noticed. Based on the way she was facing, she seemed to be watching the group from the fantasy world – the only group to have non-Japanese students, strangely enough.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, Luluco,” asked Midori. “You stalkin’ somebody else now. Trying to make Nova jealous?”

“I’m not a stalker! And what do you mean ‘somebody else’?!” Luluco yipped. Midori responded with snide chuckle. “It’s just…that girl with the gray skin over there.” She pointed to Sucy, who was staring ahead with a bored look in her one visible eye. “I’ve definitely met her before. On the last planet we visited. Remember, Nova.”

“Yes, I remember,” Nova answered monotonously. “She fed you a poisonous mushroom and now your lifespan has been shortened to seventy years.”

“That was also when I got my first kiss,” said Luluco mournfully. “But you don’t care about that, do you?”

“Not at all,” Nova said bluntly. Luluco cried out of depression; Midori cackled wildly.

Meanwhile, Lotte leaned over and whispered, “Sucy! Sucy!”

“What?” Sucy muttered with barely a glance her way.

“The girl sitting behind you keeps staring,” said Lotte quietly.

Sucy quirked her brow in genuine curiosity. Usually when people stare at her, it was because she was brewing some noxious poison in Pharmaceutics class or because she did something to Akko like make flowers grow out of her head without the Japanese girl noticing. But ever since they came to this strange new world, Sucy had, in her honest opinion, been on her best behavior.

The gray-skinned Filipino glanced backwards over her shoulder. Like Lotte said, the redheaded girl in the space suit was staring straight at her. Realizing she had been caught, Luluco quickly looked away and whistled like she was the innocent party here. Sucy sweatdropped; why do people think that would ever work? Must be a Japanese thing….

“Sucy, what did you do?” questioned Akko, putting on her best, and worst, scolding face. “Have you been causing trouble again.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you of all people,” said Sucy, shooting the Japanese girl a dry look. “I didn’t do anything to her…at least not yet. I don’t know why she keeps staring at me; I’ve never even seen her before.”

“Maybe she’s got a crush on you,” said Amanda teasingly, leaning her seat back so that it was standing on two legs. “Can’t say much for tastes, but compared to that three-eyed chick, you look…almost normal.”

“Ugh, what a pain,” said Sucy, grimacing.

“Okay, everyone, eyes forward, please!” Mikisugi clapped his hands and called for their attention. He gestured to the board, upon which he had written “ **Introductions** ” in Japanese. For some reason, none of the non-Japanese students questioned why they could suddenly read kanji. “It’s time for introductions. Since you’re all classmates now, you should get to know one another. Let’s start with Miss Matoi.”

“Eh?” Ryuko chirped surprisingly. She let out a reluctant sigh and rose to her feet. “All right, I guess I’ll go first…. I’m Ryuko Matoi, second year high school student. If it wasn’t obvious, I’m a hardcore delinquent and I’ll kick anyone’s ass that ticks me off! And this here is Senketsu,” she gestured to her clothes. “He might look like a normal sailor uniform, but he’s actually an alien made from these things called Life Fibers and…” She paused as she noticed the confused stares from all non-Honnoji students. “Yeah, I think I’ll end it there.”

“ **Well, at least no one is calling you crazy outright,** ” said Senketsu as his partner sat down.

“I get the feeling these people have seen weirder shit than talking clothes,” said Ryuko.

“Hey, didn’t we go to a planet with those Life Fiber things before?” Luluco asked her teammates.

“Yeah, the one with that wacky nutbag that looked like Nova,” said Midori.

“I suppose all of our universes have some similarities deep down,” said Nova plainly.

“Okay, next,” Mikisugi called.

“ _Hai, hai!_ ” Mako shouted cheerfully, jumping out of her seat with her hand raised enthusiastically. “I’m Mako Mankanshoku! I’m a second year just like Ryuko! My family’s super poor and my dad is an unlicensed back alley doctor that does all sorts of weird stuff that’s probably illegal! My favorite foods are my mom’s mystery croquettes that she makes from stuff that probably not safe to eat! Nice to meet you!”

“I feel very concerned for her wellbeing,” said Nazuna, sweatdropping.

“And I thought Jackie would be the weird one,” muttered Michiru, also sweatdropping.

“It’s official: all Japanese people are nuts,” Amanda commented; Constanze silently nodded.

“ _JAPAN IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!_ ” Akko roared defensively. “ _APOLOGIZE TO THE JAPANESE!_ ”

Satsuki was the next to rise from her seat, but shortly after she did so, the rest of Honnoji’s student council rose with her. Her five loyal followers formed a tight line behind her, their backs stiff, their shoulders squared, and their hands folded behind their back like a military line. Satsuki folded her hands over the hilt of her sword (how it was rebuilt after being snapped in two was a mystery) and clicked her heel on the floor. Bright spotlights suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the background behind her, effectively blinding their classmates –

“ ** _MY EYES!_** ” Michiru cried, hands flying to her burning retinas and falling sideways out of her seat.

“I am Satsuki Kiruin, third year student and student council president of Honnoji Academy!” Satsuki proclaimed dramatically. “But more importantly, I am the older sister to my adorable young sibling, Ryuko Matoi – “

“Aw geez,” Ryuko groaned, burying her burning face in her hands.

“Those who stand beside me are my closest friends and loyal comrades: Ira Gamagoori” – the hulking blond saluted – “Nonon Jakuzure” – the pinkette saluted with a playful wink – “Uzu Sanageyama” the blind man raised his hand to salute, but ended up smacking it on the corner of a desk and moaned in pain – “Hoka Inumuta, and Shiro Iori!”

“Greetings,” said Inumuta with a curt nod.

“A pleasure,” said Iori, also nodding.

“This new world is strange and foreign to us all!” Satsuki continued powerfully. “And as I look around this room, I can see how vast the difference between our worlds are! But it is those difference that – “

“Wow, this chick really loves to hear herself talk,” Amanda commented, tuning out Satsuki’s overblown speech.

“It’s kind of impressive it its own way,” said Diana. “Though it is a bit much.”

“I don’t think she’s taken a breath since she started,” said Lotte, sounding somewhat impressed.

“All right, all right, I think we get the idea, Miss Kiryuin,” said Mikisugi. Satsuki and the student council looked at him in disbelief; they didn’t think anyone would dare to interrupt Lady Satsuki’s glorious speeches. “Return to your seats please. All right, who should go next…. Why don’t you girls go next?” he said, gesturing to Akko’s group.

“ _Hai!_ ” said Akko with a determined expression. “My name’s Atsuko Kagari! Oh, but my friends call me Akko. My dream is to become an amazing witch that brings smiles to everyone just like my idol, Shiny Chariot! I might not be good at magic right now, but I will never give up! Because a believing heart is my magic!”

Lotte looked at her best friend in admiration, Amanda shook her head with an amused chuckle, and Diana smiled softly at the boisterous Japanese girl’s back…until she caught herself and went stoic again. Ryuko liked the witch girl; she reminded her of Mako in a lot of ways. But in the very back of the class, Shirou crossed his arms and leered at the Luna Nova group wearily.

“So those humans are witch,” Shirou muttered. “Normal humans were bad enough, but humans with magic? I don’t trust them.”

“To be fair, do you trust anyone?” Marie asked humorously, leaning her head against her fist. “I like them. I bet we’ll be great friends in no time.”

“You just want to exploit them so they can use their magic to help with your illegal schemes,” Michiru accused dryly.

“You know me so well,” Marie replied with a Cheshire grin.

As Akko sat back down, Diana rose from her seat, coughing importantly in her fist, and announced, “My name is Diana Cavendish, Heir to the Cavendish House of Wedinburgh and first year student at Luna Nova Academy. Though the circumstances are strange, I look forward to learning with you.”

“My name is Lotte Jansson,” Lotte stood up next. “Er…I’m from Finland, and I specialize in Communication Magic and fairies. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Sucy Manbavaran,” said Sucy apathetically. “I like making poisons and experimenting on Akko while she sleeps.”

“I really wish you’d stop doing that,” said Akko, grimacing.

“Oh, wow…she even experiments on her friends,” said Luluco uncomfortably. “She really is a witch.”

“I like her,” said Midori, sniggering mischievously.

“Amanda O’Neill, the number one troublemaker in Luna Nova history,” Amanda said proudly, propping her feet on the desk and folding her hands behind her head. She gestured her chin to the side. “Over there is Jasminka. She’s always eating something, but she’s a real sweetheart – and super strong, too.”

“Want one?” Jasminka asked Mikisugi, offering one of her rare treats. “It’s happy flavor…”

“Maybe after class,” said Mikisugi kindly.

“And that’s Constanze,” Amanda continued, gesturing to the short German girl was tinkering with some gadget laid out on her desk. “She doesn’t talk much, but she’s super smart and makes all kinds of crazy machines with magic.”

“A fusion of science and sorcery,” Inumuta hummed interestedly. “Sounds intriguing. I wonder if she would be willing to compare notes. I would love to know the complex intricacies of magic-infused technology.”

“Maybe she could help us develop some type of magic-Life Fiber fusion Goku Uniform,” said Iori with a hint of excitement in his voice. “Just imagine the possibilities….”

“Thank you, ladies,” said Mikisugi, nodding to the Luna Nova group. “Who wants to go next?”

“Luluco does!” Midori said loudly.

“Eh?!” Luluco squeaked. She glared at the three-eyed alien’s betrayal; Midori just snickered.

“Looks like you’re next, Miss Luluco,” said Mikisugi, ignoring the redhead’s sputtering protests.

“Ugh, fine, I guess I have to go sometime,” said Luluco with a defeated sigh. “Hello, everyone, my name is Luluco, and I’m a space officer for the Space Patrol Ogikubo Division. I just wanted to live a normal life, but then my dad turned into a block of ice, then he turned into a talking brain, and my mom ended up being a thieving space pirate. I’ve pretty much accepted that I will never have a normal life, so this new world isn’t all that strange. Nice meeting you all.”

“Wow, her life sounds like something out of an anime,” said Michiru.

“Everyone here looks like they came out of an anime,” Nazuna retorted.

“I am Alpha Omega Nova,” said Nova shortly after Luluco sat down.

“…do you have anything you want to add?” Mikisugi asked awkwardly.

“No,” said Nova, sitting back down. The rest of the class minus Luluco and Midori sweatdropped simultaneously.

“My turn,” said Midori gleefully. “The name’s Midori. I work at the same Space Patrol office as Luluco and Nova. I didn’t join because I actually care about ‘protecting the universe’ or ‘justice’ or whatever. I just did it to get out of jail time.”

“And…what exactly did you do?” asked Sanageyama strangely.

“I published and distributed a quasi-legal Black Hole App,” said Midori nonchalantly. “I made a huge killing until that stupid little shit Luluco ruined everything like she always does.”

“Hey!” Luluco cried.

“Sounds like you have some competition in the illegal goods game, Marie,” Michiru said smuggling, leaning around Shirou and grinning smugly at the wea – er, mink.

“A game is no fun if there’s no challenge,” said Marie, smirking as she watched Midori sit back down. “But the cute little weirdo still has a lot to learn if she got herself caught by the authorities. Maybe I should take her under my wing and teach her a thing or two – “

“Don’t,” said Shirou shortly.

“Well, it looks like you guys are last,” said Mikisugi, gesturing to the Beastmen in the back row.

“Guess it’s my turn,” said Michiru, rising from her chair, waving around the class. “What’s up, everybody? My name’s Michiru Kagemori. Er, I know I look like some weird raccoon girl – “

“Tanuki girl,” Shirou interjected.

“Right…,” Michiru groaned, leering sideways at the man. “Anyway, I wasn’t always like this. A year ago, I used to be human, and then I suddenly turned into this. I still haven’t figured out why I suddenly turned into a Beastman, but I guess I’m getting used to it little by little. I’ve made some pretty good friends, so it hasn’t been all bad. I hope I can become good friends with all of you, too.”

“She seems nice,” Lotte said optimistically.

“She looks like Akko when she screws the animal transformation spell,” said Sucy.

“That joke has already been used,” Akko grimaced.

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any less true,” said Sucy with a cruel snicker.

“Oi, you’re turn,” Michiru said to Shirou as she sat back down.

“I don’t want to,” Shirou grumbled with an indignant huff.

“Eh, don’t be that way,” said Michiru. “Everyone else already went.”

“I don’t care,” said Shirou in continued defiance. “I have no reason to introduce myself to a bunch of humans.”

“Stop acting like a brat,” said Michiru annoyed. “Whether you like it or not, we’re stuck in this world until we can figure out a way to back to Anima City. So you might as well play nice with everyone while we’re here.”

A low growl emanated from the back of Shirou’s throat, but the light-haired man sighed in defeat and stood up. He cast a sharp leer around the room, letting everyone know exactly what he thought about them. It was strange, then, that none of the other students seemed to shrink under his gaze when other Beastmen would often tremble. These humans were made of tough stuff, he thought.

“I am Shirou Ogami,” Shirou announced. “I’m a social worker for Anima City. I don’t particularly like humans, but I am willing to get along with you for the sake of this ‘school life’ here. So let us get along from now on.”

“He doesn’t like humans?” said Nonon said strangely. “Wait, does that mean he’s _not_ human?”

“During Kagemori’s introduction, she said she was turned into a ‘Beastman’,” Inumuta noted. “I suppose in their world, there is a species of human with animal characteristics. And looking at the rest of them, it seems that they possess the ability to shift between human and animal forms. Fascinating, but Ogami’s introduction implies that there is some sort of racial dispute in their world.”

“Well, I don’t care what he is,” Gamagoori grunted. “If he threatens lady Satsuki, he will have to go through me.”

“Same here,” added Sanageyama.

“Me next, me next!” Nina jumped up eagerly. “I’m Nina Flip and I _love_ humans. They’re so cool and they make neat stuff. I’ve always wanted to make friends with humans, but my stupid daddy is so overprotective and never lets me go anywhere without his dumb old bodyguards. But now that I’m here, I can make a whole bunch of human friends! Please take good care of me!”

“Aw, she’s so adorable!” Luluco gushed.

“And rich, too,” said Midori, apparently having tuned out everything after ‘bodyguards’.

“Jackie, it’s your turn,” Michiru said to the teddy bear-like person at the end of the row.

“Uh…I’m Jackie,” he said; he didn’t sound or look particularly bright. “I like playing baseball and Michiru. I’m not very strong, or smart, or the best at anything, but I hope we can become good friends.”

“Heh, cute,” said Marie. She didn’t stand like the others, but made a friendly hang gesture. “I’m Marie Itami. I make a living on selling things people want at affordable prices” – Michiru openly scoffed, but Marie ignored it – “I hope we can have a fun – and profitable – school life together.”

“Heh, I think she’s gonna be fun to play with,” said Midori, grinning wickedly.

“Oh no…,” Luluco groaned.

“And last, but certainly not least, is me, Nazuna Hiwatashi,” Nazuna said smugly. “But to many, I am the benevolent and rightfully worshiped Guru of the Silver Wolf Order, Death Rube – “

Whatever dramatic speech she was about to make was sharply cut off by a loud chorus and snickers and laughter from several of her classmates, including Akko, Ryuko, and Midori. Some of the more polite ones like Diana and Luluco hid their laughter behind their hands, but they were undeniably laughing.

“ _Death Rube?_ ” Ryuko cackled wildly, slapping her hand on her desk. “You’re actually proud of that name?!”

“Even I wouldn’t come up with something _that_ embarrassing!” Akko chortled, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Please, say that again into the camera!” Midori requested, whipping out her phone. “I have to post it on social media!”

Nazuna flushed in a combination of embarrassment and anger. She is Death Rube! Her name is supposed to be worshiped! Nazuna heard quiet snickering coming from her left and swung around to face Michiru, who was laughing behind her hand uncontrollably. Now thoroughly pissed, Nazuna turned into a teal-white kitsune in the middle of the classroom and snapped her muzzle at Michiru, which might have surprised everyone if they weren’t too busy laughing at Nazuna’s expense.

And, somehow, Mikisugi was treating the whole thing like it was a normal day in class.

“Oh my,” he said calmly. “We really have a variety of students here, don’t we?”

* * *

The rest of the day seemed to pass by a triple time, because before they knew it, the bell rang for the end of the school day. When everyone left the building, the sun was already starting to set over the horizon, casting an orangish-golden glow across the sky.

Michiru and her odd assortment of Beastmen were wondering down the street from the school, having no real idea where they were going since this was a completely new world from Anima City. Michiru marched in the lead, folding her hands behind her head and staring tiredly at the evening sky (and intentionally ignoring Nazuna’s angry stare from the side. The girl can seriously hold a grudge.)

“I’ve been chased by hunters,” Michiru mumbled lethargically, “ran after wallet stealing monkeys, got thrown in a cell by Beastman traffickers, thrown off a building, played murder-style baseball…and somehow I’m even more exhausted than I’ve ever been.”

“That’s how you know it’s high school,” said Nazuna, equally tired.

“Still, transported to another world…,” said Michiru. “It’s like something out of an isekai anime. Come to think of it, how did we end up here, anyway? I don’t remember getting hit by truck-kun.”

“As if it could ever kill Ogami,” said Marie, snickering.

“If we can figure out how we were sent to this world, maybe we can find a way back,” said Shirou seriously.

“Maybe we can ask the humans how they got here,” Nina suggested optimistically.

“Mmm, I don’t like the idea of asking help from humans,” Shirou grumbled.

“You don’t like anything,” Michiru retorted. “Ugh, let’s think about it tomorrow, all right. I’m way too tired to be dealing with this… Huh?”

Looking ahead, Michiru suddenly realized that there was someone standing at the end of the sidewalk, seemingly waiting for them. The glow of the setting sun behind them cast an ominous shadow, but the length of black hair and the sword folded in her hands gave way that it was Satsuki Kiryuin posing dramatically with her eyes closed in concentration.

Michiru’s group stopped a few feet away from her. Shirou narrowed his eyes suspiciously and asked, “Who are you?”

“I am Satsuki Kiryuin,” Satsuki answered, her thick eyebrows furrowed seriously. “And you are…Kagemori, Ogami, Hiwatashi, Itami, Flip, and Jackie, correct?”

“Yeah…,” Michiru said slowly. “Um…can we help you?”

“My sister and comrades believe I am elsewhere, so I will keep this brief,” said Satsuki bluntly. “I don’t understand what this world is or how we all came to be here, but no matter the world, I will do everything within my power to protect the people I hold dear.”

“Oh, um, that’s nice…,” said Michiru awkwardly. She had no idea where Satsuki was going with this.

“That being said,” Satsuki continued, now outright glaring at them. “I do not trust you people. I have sensed that the other groups, though strange in their own ways, all have good intentions. But you…I sense hostility and darkness, especially from you,” she leered at Shirou.

“Are you here to threaten us?” questioned Shirou, glaring in return.

“I don’t make threats, I carry out executions,” said Satsuki severely. She moved into her starting stance, ready to pull Bakuzan from its sheath at any moment. Michiru squeaked and took a step back; her animal instincts could sense her killer aura. “If you pose a threat to my loved ones, then I will not hesitate to put you down.”

“Is that right?” Shirou snarled. He stepped in front of the group, ignoring Michiru’s warning, and transformed into his powerful wolf form with his teeth exposed threateningly. “You still want to challenge me, human?”

“It doesn’t matter what form you take,” Satsuki said coolly. “I will cut you down where you stand.”

“H-Hey, hey, hold on a sec!” Michiru sputtered frantically, trying flutily to pull Shirou back by his coat. “Let’s just calm down for a minute, huh?! We can’t be fighting on the first day of school!”

“That’s up to the human,” Shirou growled.

Michiru grimaced as she looked back and forth between the two clearly super powered opponents. Satsuki and Shirou locked eyes with one another, never blinking, waiting for the other to strike first. A long moment of silence silence passed through the street…when Satsuki suddenly removed her hand from her sword and stood up straight in a stiff, but relaxed stance. Sensing that the danger had passed for now, Shirou reverted back to his human form, but still leered at the white-clothed woman.

“She’s right, it is the first day of school,” said Satsuki. “And getting into fights with other students is against Mikisugi-Sensei’s rules. Even the student council president must abide by the rules, so I will leave this for now. But don’t forget,” she added sharply to the Beastmen, “if you harm my sister or friends, I will slaughter you like the animals you are. Rules be damned.”

With that final threat, Satsuki turned away from the Beastmen, her lengthy hair whipping around her, and walked toward the sunset. Dramatically, of course.

“That could’ve gone a whole lot worse,” said Michiru, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Ogami,” Nazuna said with a serious edge in her tone. “Be honest. If you two had fought…would you have beat her?”

Shirou stayed silent for a moment, and then said, “I know that she’s human. But every instinct in my body is telling me she’s not a normal human. So, to answer your question…I truthfully have no idea if I could’ve beaten her.”

“Eh?! She’s that strong?!” Michiru yelped shockingly.

“Our new classmates definitely aren’t the normal sort,” said Marie, speaking lightly despite the serious topic. “You better watch your step, tanuki, or you could get into some serious trouble.”

Michiru groaned loudly.

The tension was unexpectedly broken when Nina yawned loudly.

“Can we go home now?” Nina asked cutely. “I’m getting sleepy.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” Michiru agreed. They started walking a few more paces when the tanuki girl suddenly stopped. “Er…does anyone know where we’re staying in this world?”

“…………………………………………………………..”

* * *

Meanwhile, in the high school’s principle office, the skeleton cop-looking being acting as the school’s principle sat behind his black stone desk while Mikisugi was being served tea by Miss Secretary (mostly because he has no animation and therefore couldn’t move beyond his desk).

“So, how are our new students doing?” asked the flaming skeleton principle.

“They’re very interesting,” said Mikisugi, taking a short sip of his tea. “But they still haven’t quite opened up to each other yet.”

“Well, I trust you will find a way to make it work, Mikisugi-Sensei,” said the flaming principle. “After all, you were chosen to be their teacher for a reason.”

“Aw, it’s nice to hear that you think so highly of me, Inferno Cop-Sensei,” said Mikisugi.

“Uh…I’m Over Justice,” said the principle awkwardly. “General Manager of the Space Patrol’s Ogikubo Division….”

“Wait, so you’re not Inferno Cop?” said Mikisugi surprisingly.

Principle Over Justice sweatdropped.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked this chapter because the introductions give way to what I think could be some interesting dynamics between the four groups. Though they all come from different story types (ecchi battle anime, magical girl anime, gag anime, and furry anime), they all have something that they could potentially bond over, like Inumuta and Constanze over science and Marie and Midori over illegal things. If think there’s anything else, please feel free to let me know.
> 
> I also made a seating chart in case anyone was curious. All the seats are facing to the left.
> 
> Now, imagine Ryuko, Akko, Luluco, and Michiru performing Isekai Girls Talk at the end.


	3. Deadlock! Classmates

All too quickly, the start of the next day in their strange and, honestly terrifying, school life had arrived. The warning bell had just rung when Luluco narrowly arrived to class on time, no thanks to Midori purposely setting her alarm clock two hours behind. She still didn’t know how they were able to find her, Midori, and Nova’s shared residence, but considering that her best friend is a three-eyed alien, her crush was devoid of emotion, and she was sitting in a classroom of weirdos from other universes, she decided not to question it.

Having a little time before class, started, Luluco pulled out a sheet of paper and decided to wrote a letter to her father.

‘ _Hey, dad, it’s Luluco_ ,’ Luluco mentally recited as she wrote down the words in her universe’s alien language. ‘ _I know it might sound weird, though probably not as much compared to all the other weird stuff that’s happened, but I’m currently pursuing a new ‘school life’ in a strange new world. I hope it will turn out normal enough – ‘_

“Hey, give that back, you redheaded bitch!”

“Screw you, closet pervert, I got it first!”

“Yay! Michiru, I’m flying!”

“Put Jackie down!”

Luluco looked up from her letter and looked to her right. The American girl – Amanda, if she remembered right – was standing on a desk trying to keep a package of melon bread away from the delinquent in the black sailor suit. When Amanda refused to hand it over, the delinquent suddenly grabbed the little guy called Jackie and started swinging him around like a baseball bat, much to the tanuki girl’s shock.

‘ _Then again, that might be asking too much…_ ’ Luluco thought, sweatdropping.

* * *

** TRIGGER QUARTET **

**Episode Three: Deadlock! Classmates**

* * *

The final bell rang, signaling the start of classes, and everyone took their seats. Amanda had won what would go down in history as ‘The Great Bread Battle’, making a show of eating it and leaning forward in her desk enough so that Ryuko could see it. The dark-haired delinquent cursed under her breath and pointedly looked away. In the back row, poor Jackie was lying on his back on top of his desk, his eyes a pair of anime spirals, and Michiru looked at her friend pitifully.

And that was before Mikisugi-Sensei showed up, looking just as shabby and lethargic as the first day. He didn’t even ask why one of his students was ruffed up and unconscious; her just opened his book and started taking attendance.

Luluco sighed and thought, ‘ _How did my life turn out like this? All I’ve ever wanted was a normal life. Going to a normal school, making normal friends, having normal after school activities, and going home to a normal house and normal dinner and going to bed normally…. And now, I going to school in the least normal place in the universe full of abnormal classmates…. Still…._ ’

Luluco cast a glance around the classroom. Satsuki was trying to get as close to her baby sister as humanly possible, ignoring the protests of said baby sister. Akko was on her knees, begging Lotte to let her see her homework, completely forgetting that it was only the second day of school and that they didn’t have homework. The Beastmen were sitting in the back, completely lost in their own little world and not pay attention to the chaos around them.

‘ _When you look at it, it does seem kinda peaceful compared to Ogikubo,_ ’ thought Luluco, ‘ _but it’s still the weirdest bunch of people I’ve ever seen. Everyone is so different, like we were all slapped together at random. And Chief Over Justice is the principle, and Miss Secretary is the vice-principle? Is this some kind of joke? And the teacher is…._ ’

She looked up at Mikisugi-sensei as he finished taking attendance. The disheveled man took off his glasses and started cleaning them on his shirt when his whole demeanor suddenly changed. For a split second, he went from sloven to dashing as bright lights magically appeared in the background behind him, almost similar to the unexplained lights that Satsuki Kiryuin used to burn Michiru’s retinas. And it might have been her imagination, but she could have sword that his clothes were starting to unbutton themselves….

Everything went back to normal when Mikisugi-sensei put his glasses back on like it never happened. The whole thing was so absurd, Luluco wondered if she imagined it.

‘ _Nothing in my life has been normal ever since I joined the Space Patrol,_ ’ Luluco thought, grimacing, ‘ _but this is just taking it to a whole new level….’_

“All right, class, eyes up front,” Mikisugi called everyone’s attention. “Before we start with today’s lessons, there were two students yesterday who nearly broke the rules after school. I am referring to your altercation with Ogami, Miss Kiryuin. Violence may have been permitted in Honnoji, but it’s strictly forbidden here.”

“You started a fight, Sats?” Ryuko looked at her sister, bewildered. “That’s normally something I would do.”

“I didn’t fight them,” said Satsuki coolly. “I merely offered them a stern word of advice.”

“So you threatened them,” Ryuko simplified; Satsuki wisely chose to remain silent.

“I told you we were going to get in trouble,” Michiru hissed to Shirou.

“I wasn’t the one who started anything,” Shirou huffed defiantly.

“No, but you egging her on didn’t help!” Michiru snapped.

“That just won’t do,” said Mikisugi, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You all need to get along here, or we’ll have a problem. And maybe you’ll have problems, too.”

“I see, so that’s how it is,” said Diana softly, which carried throughout the nearly silent classroom.

“What’s how it is?” Lotte asked curiously, turning in her seat to face the English girl. “Did you figure something out, Diana?”

“Possibly,” Diana answered with a shrewd expression. “The man before us, this…Mikisugi-sensei, is implying that any acts which would endanger our ‘school life’ are strictly forbidden.”

“As if that wasn’t obvious from the get-go,” said Sucy dryly.

“I believe I understand what Miss Cavendish is trying to say,” said Inumuta as he rose from his seat, attracting everyone’s attention. “I will give you a simple explanation: Assume that we have been trapped in this world and forced to become students.”

“Trapped?” said Nina curiously.

“Is that right?” said Jakuzure.

“That’s the observation you were going for, was it not, Miss Cavendish?” said Inumuta, glancing sideways at the English girl.

“That is very astute of you, Mr. Inumuta,” said Diana with a tone of respect for the bespectacled man. “For those of you who do not understand the full implications, I will say it plainly in very clear terms…. We may assume that this world is a nexus between all of our realities. Though all of our worlds are different, there seems to be something that they all have in common that has drawn us together in one place. That being said, we can also assume that this world is covered in some sort of a barrier which exerts a compulsory effect on those within it. The details elude us for the moment, but one likely assumption is that any act that threatens our ‘school life’ may render us unable to return home.”

“Oh, so that’s it,” said Nazuna hummed thoughtfully.

“So that’s why we were told to refrain from acts of violence,” said Nova, nodding. “I imagine this rule must be difficult for the violent animals sitting in the back, fighting against their baser instincts.”

“What was that?!” Marie snapped.

“Say that to my face!” Shirou snarled, slamming his fists on his desk

“Wait, please, he’s wasn’t being mean – he’s just emotionally stunted!” Luluco yelped desperately.

“What the four-eyes and the Brit brat say makes sense,” said Midori, who had been absently playing with her phone the whole time. “It looks like for now, we’ll just have to accept things as they are.”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure you all have a lot you want to say to each other,” Mikisugi interrupted, “but class has already started, so let’s cut the chatter.” He reached under his desk and pulled out a small stack of papers. “Everybody, take one of these flyers and pass them back to the person behind you.”

He handed one stack to the six people sitting in the front row, who took one and passed it back to the person sitting behind them as instructed. Luluco took her row’s stack from Sucy, slid one onto her desk, and passed it over her shoulder to Shirou. The rookie space cop picked up the flyer, staring at the sheet with a raised brow as she read:

**A WAY TO BE CLOSER FRIENDS  
1ST ANNUAL HIDDEN TALENT SHOW**

_Our class will be holding a talent show this week  
to allow us to get to know each other better.  
All students must prepare one special talent to  
introduce to the class. Participation is mandatory._

“…Eh?” Luluco squeaked.

* * *

Several hours of lectures (which everyone strangely can’t remember anything about), the blessed bell rings for lunch period. Michiru, Nazuna, Nina, and Jackie picked up their lunches (which was actually pretty good compared to what Michiru ate at her regular school.) The girls from Luna Nova took up two tables near the back of the cafeteria; Akko and Amanda looked like they were in the early stages of food fight, so Michiru’s group took a seat on the opposite side of the room away from the imminent food carnage.

“Hey, Michiru,” said Nina, who swallowed an entire mackerel whole. Michiru didn’t even bat an eye at this, already accustomed to Beastmen eating habits. “What kind of things are you supposed to do for a talent show?”

“Hmm…,” Michiru hummed, biting off half of an entire sweet potato. “Simple party tricks and stuff?”

“Party tricks?” Nina repeated.

“Yeah, just show everybody a talent you have that others don’t,” said Michiru.

“You mean that creepy thing you do where you stretch your arms like that dumbass from the pirate manga,” said Nazuna with an edge of mockery in her tone.

“Hey, it’s not…okay, yeah, it’s a little creepy,” Michiru admitted. “But that’s still hurtful!”

“It’s not my fault you turned out to be a weird science-y freak of nature,” said Nazuna.

“Uh, no, it is totally 100% percent your fault,” said Michiru, giving her an unimpressed look. “Remember? I saved you from getting run over by a bus? We both went to the hospital because of it? The headcanon is that’s where we were experimented on and mutated into Beastmen? Any of this ringing a bell to you?” Nazuna looked away suspiciously. “Oy, don’t try to run away from this….”

“What are you going to do for the talent show?” Jackie asked curiously, attempting to swallow a foot-long sub whole.

Michiru chuckled cockily, and said, “Just you wait. I just might have an amazing talent that will amaze everyone!”

“You don’t,” Nazuna stated instantly.

“Why are you such a jerk now?!” Michiru cried. “You used to be such a nice girl!”

“But you know,” said Nina, holding her hands out to keep them apart, “if Michiru does have some amazing talent, I’d love to see it.”

“I want to see Michiru’s secret talent,” said Jackie…who had somehow managed to fit the whole sub in his mouth, stretching his cheek ridiculously far.

“You see, that’s how good friends are supposed to act!” said Michiru, staring pointedly at Nazuna. ”I promise I’ll show you something that will knock your socks off!”

“But I don’t wear sock,” said Nina absently; Michiru sweatdropped.

* * *

While everyone else was out to lunch, Nova was strutting through the halls with his perpetual lack of expression as he looked back and forth between the rooms, looking for something.

“A talent show?” Nova said to himself. “Sounds like a waste of time to me.”

Coming from the opposite direction, Sanageyama and Gamagoori noticed Nova heading their way and suddenly stopped, seemingly stepping out of his path out of politeness. But the emotionless space cop didn’t miss the strange looks they were giving him as he walked past (even more so considering one of them was blind.) He walked a few more paces and still felt their gazes lingering on his back. Nova stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned back to them.

“Is there something I can help you with?” he asked.

“Oh, forgive us for being rude,” Gamagoori apologized. “It’s really nothing but – “

“Then I guess there’s no reason to talk to you,” Nova said, spinning around abruptly. “Good day.”

“Wow, that was rude,” said Sanageyama…who was facing the opposite direction of Nova.

Jakuzure had been coming from the same direction as Gamagoori and Sanageyama when she saw the brief exchange take place. The short conductor stood aside as the emotionless boy walked by, but did not say anything to him as he passed, nor did Nova stop to talk. She waited until Nova had disappeared around the corner before approaching her allies in the Student Council.

“Hey, Toad, Kanto Monkey – “

“Don’t call me that,” Sanageyama grumbled.

“ – what was up with the blonde space case?” asked Jakuzure, completely ignoring Sanageyama’s complaints. “Did you say something stupid again?”

“Is that really how you think of us?” asked Gamagoori, grimacing.

“We didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he totally blew us off,” Sanageyama defended. “Kinda reminds me of Lady Satsuki back in the day. You know, before the whole sister-complex thing took over.”

“Agreed,” said Gamagoori, nodding. “The cold, unfeeling gaze of a true warrior…. And now Lady Satsuki is practically clinging to Matoi twenty-four-seven these days. It’s both hearten yet sad to see a proud warrior fall from grace.”

“Hey, maybe now I can finally kick her butt and then I’ll take over,” said Sanageyama, laughing at his own joke.

Jakuzure, on the other hand, did not find this amusing, and plainly told them, “I’m telling Lady Satsuki said that.”

Gamagoori and Sanageyama instantly shut up, both of there characters models completely losing color.

Nova could hear their pleas for mercy from down the hall, but did not think anything of it as he searched through the windows into the other rooms.

“I can’t help but wonder what the manager is thinking,” Nova hummed to himself. “If I could find his office, maybe he could explain himself. Now where is….” He stopped noticing a small sign attached above the door that said ‘Teacher’s Office’ in kanji.”Hmm…maybe Mikisugi-sensei can tell me where his office is.”

He walked inside, looked around at the rows of teacher’s desks grouped together, and spotted a head of blue hair near the window, but it didn’t belong to Mikisugi. Instead, he found a young woman with long flowing dark-blue hair tied into a pony tail over her right shoulder and a pair of oval glasses. She dressed in a dark violet hooded dress with a flame-like pattern on the bottom and a pointed hat with a crescent moon buckle on the rim.

The unknown woman seemed to be shuffling through some papers on her desk. Nova approached the teacher quietly and said, “Excuse me – “, but the woman seemed to be easily startled as she jumped in her seat with a frightened yelp, sending her papers flying everywhere. Nova watched without any expression as the woman did a sort of clumsy dance trying to recover her paperwork, unintentionally hitting the desk with her knee and sending all her books crashing to the floor. The blue-haired woman moaned pitifully, and started to clean up her mess, sulking.

“Is this a bad time?” Nova asked after giving her a moment to calm down.

“Oh?” the woman looked up, blinking her burgundy eyes curiously at him. “Oh, sorry you had to see that. You’re…Alpha Omega Nova, right? From Class 3?”

“That’s correct,” Nova nodded. “I don’t believe I’ve met you before, Miss…”

“Ursula,” the blue-haired woman answer. “I’m Ursula Callistis. Oh, but call me Professor Ursula. I am one of your teachers – “

“I haven’t accepted you as my teacher,” Nova said bluntly; Ursula looked like she had been smacked across the face. “I’m looking for General Manager Over Justice. Where is his office? I need to speak to him.”

“Uh, Nova, you shouldn’t talk to a teacher like that,” said Ursula anxiously. “You’re all students here at this school. You’re here to experience school life. So, you need to act like students. Understand?”

Nova stared at her for a moment, and said, “I suppose. Please tell General Manager Over Justice that Nova wants to see him soon.”

“All right,” Ursula accepted. “I’ll make sure he gets the message. Now, lunch break is almost over. Please return to your classroom.”

Nova nodded his head in silent acceptance and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him. Ursula waited until she couldn’t hear Nova’s retreating footsteps before leaning forward with an exhausted sigh.

“I always seem to end up with the most heavy-handed students, don’t I?” said Ursula tiredly. “Still, I suppose it’s better to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while. I just hope the other students are adjusting well. And hopefully they aren’t doing anything _too_ crazy…hopefully….”

* * *

Luluco and Midori sat alone in a bench outside during lunch period; Luluco with her homemade bento that she made this morning (“The kitchen was surprisingly well stocked,” she said) and Midori with whatever she managed to snatch with her Black Hole App (a chicken croquette).

It was very rare to see the two of them together; Luluco couldn’t remember the last time they hung out without Nova in between them. That being said, the two of them just sat together in painfully awkward silence, Luluco eating her lunch quietly and Midori playing around on her cell phone…. Silence…more silence…it was now starting to physically hurt Luluco’s stomach (or that could have been the beef that she may or may not have undercooked.) She needed to say something – _ANYTHING!_

“So how’re you holdin’ up?” Midori asked suddenly, to Luluco’s surprise.

“Er, what do you mean?” Luluco replied slowly.

“This whole ‘traveling-to-an-alternate-universe-and-forced-to-do-school-life’ business?” Midpri clarified. “I figured you’d be freaking out over his un-normal it was.”

“Oh, I’m over that now,” said Luluco, staring wistfully at the clouds. “I don’t know, when you compare it to all the weird things we’ve already been through, this place seems normal by comparison – “

Luluco’s words were cut off by a rumble like thunder, feeling the ground quake beneath them. A second passed and another rumble roared witgh another tremor. And then another. And another…. The Space Patrol girls turned to the left as a colossal figure suddenly appeared around the corner of the school building, stomping its way across the yard one ground shaking footstep at a time.

It was a gigantic mecha, though it had no distinguishing features other than the giant metal pirate hat that looked to have been thrown on at the last minute. In between the joints, Luluco noticed a bunch of glowing red threats that looked like veins for the mecha. Those were Life Fiber, Luluco recognized from their absurd visit to the Life Fiber Planet.

The mecha stopped in the middle of the yard and turned with a loud whirling noise to Luluco and Midori, as if sensing their stares. The plate on its chest hissed, exhaling jets of steam, and opened sideways to reveal the hidden cockpit. If she were being honest, Luluco wasn’t the least bit surprised to see the German witch – Constanze – sitting at the steering wheel while Inumuta and Iori were on the computers either side of her.

“Oh, don’t mind us,” said Inumuta nonchalantly. “We’re just taking our science project out for a walk.”

“Carry on with your meal,” said Iori casually.

And just like that, Constanze closed the hatch and the thirty-foot mecha stomped out of sight.

“Yeah, totally normal,” Midori said sarcastically.

“Well, it can’t be any weirder than shoplifting with black holes,” said Luluco, grinning slightly.

“Eh, good point,” Midori conceded, taking a huge bite of her stolen croquette. “So, what, you’re okay with being stuck here?”

“I never said that,” said Luluco, shaking her head. “I like how normal this place is, but I still miss my dad. And maybe my mom, even just a little bit. But I just don’t know how we’re supposed to get back…. Hey, what about your black hole – “

“Already tried that,” Midori cut her off. “It’s like the nerds said; there’s some barrier around this world that’s blocking out my app. And that thing was my biggest seller….”

“Yeah, I figured,” said Luluco, sighing. “Well, I guess if your black hole technology isn’t going to work, then I guess we have no choice. I just wish we had some kind of way….

“What’re you guys going to do for the talent show?”

“I don’t know. The whole thing seems dumb. I might just skip it.”

“Mikisugi-sensei said attendance was mandatory.”

Luluco raised her head to the chattering voice to the pathway on their right. She spotted Akko and the Luna Nova group walking back from the cafeteria, talking very loudly as they walked by Luluco and Midori’s bench.

“We should all have something prepared for the upcoming talent show,” said Diana, crossing her arms firmly like the matter was settled. “Something that shows the honor and pride of Luna Nova Academy.”

“Maybe I could show them my mushroom collection,” Sucy suggested with a wicked smile.

“We wanna impress them, not kill them,” said Amanda, giving the Filipino a dry look.

“Can’t we do both?” Sucy asked earnestly.

“What’re you going to do for the talent show, Akko?” said Lotte.

Akko chuckled condescendingly with her nose upturned, and said, “I already know what I’m doing. I’m going to do an amazing magic show with the power of” – she whipped out her gilded staff, raising it overhead like a mighty sword – “the Shiny Rod!”

“So your plan is to blow up the school?” said Amanda, smirking. “I can get behind that.”

“I’m not going to blow up the school!” Akko shouted defensively. “I’m going to put on an amazing show! You’ll see!”

“Performing a magic show might actually be a good idea,” said Diana, much to the surprise of everyone. “When you look at it, we’re the only ones in the school who can wield the magic. That will certainly make us stand out among our classmates…. Though I’m not sure we should be using the Shiny Rod for it. It might be a bit…much.”

“You think I’m going to blow up the school, don’t you?” Akko asked her with a blank stare; Diana refused to meet her eyes. “You guys have no faith in me! I can totally do this! I’ve already revived five of the seven Words and the Shiny Rod is the most powerful magic tool of all time! We could totally put on a great show with it!”

“We’ll…think about it,” Diana conceded gently. “Let’s talk more after. Class is about to start.”

Luluco watched the Luna Nova group disappear inside the building when an idea suddenly clicked in her head.

“That’s it,” Luluco murmured thoughtfully. “If Midori’s technology doesn’t work, then maybe….”

* * *

The final bell for the end of lunch period was about to ring any minute now. Because of Diana’s insistence that they not be late, the girls of Luna Nova were already in their seats by the time the others started to show up. Akko was lying flat against her desk, dreading the next several hours of lectures that were undoubtedly to come (as if the lectures at Luna Nova weren’t bad enough!) She didn’t notice the door being thrown open or the patter of footsteps approaching her seat until someone slammed their hands on her desk, making Akko sit up in her seat with a frightened yelp.

Much to Akko’s surprise, the Japanese witch found herself caught in a classic stare down with the redheaded girl from the space cop group – Luluco, if she remembered right. For some reason, the Space Patrol officer was staring at her with a very determined look, which make Akko feel uncomfortable.

“Uh, can I help you?” asked Akko tentatively.

“I need to talk to you,” said Luluco resolutely. “It’s super important.”

“Huh? You…wanna talk to me?” Akko repeated uncertainly, pointing to herself. “As in me? Akko Kagari? Not Diana?”

“You’re the one with that super powerful magic wand, right?” said Luluco.

“Actually, it’s called the Shiny Rod, but yeah,” said Akko, nodding.

“When classes are over, please come to the park near the school,” Luluco requested.

“Uh, I’m okay with talking here,” said Akko.

“No, I want to talk in private,” Luluco insisted.

“Is there any particular reason why you want to talk to our friend out of the blue like this?” Diana questioned suspiciously. “And want to speak in privately for that matter?”

“Maybe it’s a love confession!” Mako suggested innocently. “And Luluco-chan wants to go somewhere private because she’s too shy to express her feelings!”

A moment of tense silence passed over the classroom…. Akko and Luluco broke out in sputtering shouts, both equally red in the face. Amanda and Sucy were cackling insanely at the absurdity of the idea that anyone would confess feelings for Akko, and Midori was laughing at the idea that Luluco would ever have the balls to make a confession. Lotte had a dreamy sort of look in her eyes before she whipped out a pen and notepad from her desk and started writing at super sonic speed.

And no one noticed that Diana had suddenly gone stiff in her chair, still as a statue, her eyes glazed and lifeless.

“I-It’s not like that, I swear!” Luluco screeched shrilly. “M-my heart already belongs to Nova – I promise!”

“C-confession!” Akko stammered embarrassingly, seemingly not hearing Luluco’s frantic screams. “I-I’ve never been confessed to before! I mean, there was that messed up situation with the Cupid Bee where Andrew and Diana told me they loved me – “

Diana had a strong desire for lightning to strike her down where she sat, set her ablaze, and have her ashes carried away by the winds.

“Eh, a love confession, huh?” said Jakuzure, watching the scene with an amused grin. “Hey, Gamagoori, when’re you gonna make your confession?”

“B – what’re you talking about?!” Gamagoori howled, his face turning the color of brick. “I don’t have feelings for Mankanshoku!”

“She never said anything about Mako?” Ryuko pointed out teasingly; Gamagoori slid down his seat and somehow managed to hide his hulking frame underneath the desk.

“Seriously, it’s not a confession!” Luluco cried. “She’s a girl – “

“Yeah, that’s not really an issue where we’re from,” said Amanda cockily, leaning back with her hands behind her head. “Seriously, you should see all the fanfiction we have back home – “

“But we’ve only just met!” Luluco yelled.

“It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone!” Nina shouted suddenly, jumping out of her seat.

“Nina, please don’t get involved,” Michiru pleaded.

“When you’re falling in love,” Nina declared passionately, “it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone!”

“It’s kind of amazing in its own way that you would say that so openly,” said Nazuna, quirking her brow.

“Sounds like someone’s speaking from experience,” said Marie mischievously; Nina looked down, playing with her hands shyly, her dark cheeks spattered with traces of pink.

“Look,” Luluco sighed exasperatedly, looking back at Akko. “Can we just talk, please? I promise it’s not a love confession.”

“Sure, I guess it’s okay,” said Akko after calming down. “We could go now, if you want.”

“Now works fine,” Luluco agreed.

Akko rose from her seat and diligently followed the Space Patrol officer out the door, completely ignoring the fact that their lessons were going to start in less than a minute.

“What do you think they’re going to talk about?” asked Lotte curiously.

“I still think it’s a love confession,” said Mako strongly.

Those words seemed to jar Diana out of her self-induced trance as the blonde witch snapped her head up with a gasp and looked around quickly. In less than a second, she realized two things: Akko was gone, and that redheaded space girl was not in her seat either. Being the clever witch that she was, she was able to piece all of the clues together and come to an undeniable conclusion: Akko went to talk to the space girl in private.

Normally, such a thing wouldn’t bother Diana, but Mako’s words were buzzing around her head repeatedly like an angry bee:

“ _Love confession…love confession…love confession…_ ”

Diana suddenly shot up out of her seat without a word, drawing strange looks from the rest of her classmates. She fast walked around the edge of the classroom that she was practically sprinting, dashing across the front toward the door, ignoring the dumbfounded stares she was getting. Unfortunately, Diana’s escape route was blocked of by, to her astonishment, Professor Ursula, who had just walked into class with a stack of books under her arm.

“Oh, where are you going, Diana?” said Ursula, tilting her head curiously. “Class is about to begin.”

“Please, professor, I need to be somewhere…,” said Diana anxiously.

“Why? Is there an emergency? Did someone get hurt?” Ursula asked concerned.

“Well...no…,” Diana answered hesitantly.

“Then you can take care of it after class,” said Ursula. “Now, please take your seat.”

“But I – “

But the blonde witch’s words fell on deaf ears as Ursula closed the door behind her and pulled her student by the hood of her uniform, dragging the flailing girl back to her seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s why you don’t let your girl out of your sight, Diana.
> 
> You all knew I wasn’t going to introduce Little Witch Academia into a story without bringing everyone’s favorite clutzy (and major badass) teacher along for the ride. She has it bad enough trying to reign in Akko, so imagine how it will be trying to wrangle a small squad of Akkos. Press “F” to pay respects.
> 
> And if anyone can make a video of Trigger girls performing Isekai Girl’s Talk, I will love you for it.


	4. Encounter! Classmates

There was an open park just down the road from the high school. It didn’t have any name or defining features or sights – the place was literally just called ‘Park’. And now that Akko thought about it, did their school even have a name? She had been walking to and from the place for a couple days now and she never saw a sign at the front gate or anywhere in the halls or class. Whoever made this world really didn’t put a whole lot of thought into it, Akko mused.

Possibly against her better judgment, she had followed her classmate in the spacesuit – Luluco – even though they knew they should be in class right now. Not that it would’ve made a difference to Akko; she sucked at school regardless of the dimension.

They walked around the brick-covered path for a few minutes until they came to a stop in front of a bench. Luluco pivoted on her feet and spun around toward Akko, her eyes filled with determination.

‘ _Whoa…she looks so serious_ ,’ thought Akko, sweating slightly. ‘ _I don’t really do well with serious people. Well, maybe Diana, but it’s kinda cute when she does it. Wait…maybe she’s so serious is because she really_ is _going to make a confession! This kinda thing happens all the time in anime! But I just met her! And I kinda…. Maybe I should run away – no, Akko, stand your ground! If she confesses, you just gotta let her down easy –_ ‘

“Are you okay?” asked Luluco curiously; Akko yipped, breaking from her train of thought. “You look like you’re thinking really hard about something.”

“Me? Thinking? Nah, that would never happen…wait,” Akko paused, realizing she had just insulted herself. Brushing it off, she squared her shoulders and stared straight at Luluco. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” said Luluco seriously. “Something that’s very important.”

‘ _Oh kami, here it comes!_ ’ Akko mentally screamed.

“Please…use your magic to send me home!” Luluco shouted urgently.

“…Huh?” Akko said blankly.

* * *

** TRIGGER QUARTET **

**Episode Four: Encounter! Classmates**

* * *

“Send you…back home?” Akko repeated slowly.

“Please!” Luluco pleaded, bowing desperately. “Use your magic to send me and my friends back to our own dimension! I’m begging you!”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on there!” yelped Akko, flailing her hands. “There’s no way I could do something like that!”

“But you have to!” Luluco practically shouted. “My life has been weird enough ever since I was forced to join the Space Patrol! My hometown was shoplifted into a black hole, my mom is a space pirate, and I went to a whole bunch of weird planets like the one with that creepy mushroom girl – “

“You know Sucy?” Akko blinked curiously.

“- but getting transported to a whole ‘nother dimension?!” Luluco continued her tirade. “I mean, what is this all about?! Why am I going to school in another universe with a bunch of weirdos – “

“Hey!” Akko shouted defensively.

“Is this a joke?! Some kind of prank?! This is too much for me! Please,” she rounded to Akko again, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, “just send me and my friends’ home! My universe was weird, but it was normal to me…”

“But…If I had that kind of power, don’t you think I would have used it on the first day?” said Akko bluntly.

“…huh?” Luluco said tonelessly as Akko’s surprising logic sank in.

* * *

Back at the high school, Professor Ursula had gone into a long-winded lecture over the book of some author no one had ever heard of, occasionally asking questions here and there to make sure that they were paying attention. As expected of the Student Council President, Satsuki was taking clear and concise notes that filed up three pages of her pure-white notebook. Everyone else was either trying to be a good student and pay attention like Lotte and Nova, only half-listening and jotting down a couple of notes here and there like Ryuko and Shirou, or outright disregarding the lesson for their own interests like Midori and Amanda.

What surprised everyone, however, was the fact that Diana Cavendish had not even opened her textbook since the lesson started. All of the Luna Nova students had expected her to be as diligent and attentive as she was back at their own universe, so it was truly a rare sight to behold. The blonde heiress was biting down on her thumb, gnawing on her nail with a menacing scowl that urged everyone nearby to move their desks away slowly. Even Professor Ursula could feel the dark aura Diana was radiating, though she tried to pretend otherwise; just like she pretended Diana was glaring at the back of her head….

“Hey, kid, you okay there?” Marie called from behind Diana. “You’re…leaking out something…. It’s kinda scary….”

“Calm down, princess,” Amanda called back. “We were just joking about that love confession. You’re getting yourself worked up over nothing.”

“Worked up? Me? I’m not worked up?!” said Diana, her voice a noticeable octave higher than usual. “It’s not like I care that Akko went off somewhere – alone – with that _girl_. I am not at all concerned that there may be the slightest, tiniest, most unlikely possibility that _girl_ is possibly confessing personal to feelings right now. And I am most certainly _not_ worried that the two of them might actually form some kind of re…relat…get together. _Not at all!_ ”

“Wow, I never took her for the tsundere type,” Nonon commented.

“You wouldn’t think Lady Satsuki was a siscon either,” said Sanageyama.

“Good point,” Nonon nodded sagely.

“Don’t worry, Diana!” Nina suddenly shouted, jumping out of her seat. “If your feelings for Akko are true, then I’m sure she will understand and come back to you!”

“Nina, please stop getting involved,” Michiru groaned.

“M-my feelings for – “ Diana stammered, her checks turning brick-red. “I – I don’t have- you are just being ridiculous!”

“Um…” Ursula spoke with an awkward hum, calling attention to herself. “You do realize we’re still in the middle of a lesson, correct?”

* * *

Back at the park named “Park”, Akko and Luluco sat quietly on the nearby bench as the birds chirped above their heads. Akko had waited patiently until the Space Patrol officer had calmed down, rubbing her back soothing to relieve any remaining stress. After that, they both started talking about their lives before coming to this new dimension.

Akko learned that Luluco’s parents were a Space Patrol office and a space pirate that apparently gets into a lot of fights involving a lot of heavy ordinance – and somehow, they are still married. Then, Luluco somehow managed to turn her dad into a block of ice – which then turned into a brain in an ice cube – and got drafted into the Space Patrol. Then there was some mess involving her mom, a black hole, someone buying an entire city and having it shipped off in a giant mail-order box – honestly, the whole thing sounded like something out of a gag anime.

Luluco learned that Akko wanted to be a witch ever since she saw her childhood idol, Shiny Chariot, perform, but she didn’t come from a magical family like her classmates. She stumbled across the Shiny Rod by accident, which is supposedly the most powerful magical artifact in her world. She went on a lot of crazy adventures from there: turning into a merman to save her goldfish teacher, staring down an elderly dragon, riding a self-powered broom across the world, and stopping her best friend’s family from being turned into moss people. And throughout her adventures, Akko had been unlocking these “Words” in the Shiny Rod that gave it new and fascinating powers, aiming to unlock all seven to “change the world” as she said.

“…so that’s what you meant when you were talking to your friends after lunch,” said Luluco understanding. “So you don’t actually have that power now.”

“Nah, I’ve only revived five of the Words so far,” said Akko, holding up the Shiny Rod as if to prove her point. “I’m still learning about the last two. Ursula-sensei says that whoever revives all seven can unlock the…something or other, and restore the world of magic. Shiny Chariot tried to do it ten years ago, but she never made it past six.”

“But if you revived all seven, do you think you could get us back home?” Luluco asked hopefully.

“Hmm…,” Akko crossed her arms, looking up thoughtfully. “I don’t know…I’m not even sure if the Shiny Rod has the same power in this dimension like it does in mine. What if it’s like that sparkly glove that purple raisin guy is always after?”

“Darkseid?” Luluco offered.

“No, his less cool rip-off,” said Akko. “Anyway, it’s not like I’ll figure out the last two words any time soon, so no point in thinking about it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Luluco sighed, leaning back into the bench and looking up. “I really do want to go home, but I guess if I’m going to be stuck in another universe, I suppose this one isn’t bad. Compared to back home, it’s very…normal. Heh, it’s funny. All I’ve ever wanted was a normal life, but now I can’t imagine my life without being in the space patrol and all our wacky antics. Does that make me a hypocrite?”

“Mmm, I don’t think so,” Akko hummed. “It just means that you have your own normal. Where I’m from, riding on brooms and turning to animals is pretty normal for me – even if I still can’t ride a broom,” Akko muttered that last part.

“Hmm…I think I get what you mean,” Luluco said thoughtfully. “I guess ‘normal’ is really what you make of it. For you, it’s a world filled with magic and monsters. For me, it’s aliens and unexplainable gags.”

“Maybe we can make a new ‘normal’ in this world,” Akko suggested positively.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” said Luluco, smiling.

* * *

The bell finally rang for the end of the school day. Many students let out relieved sighs and groaned from their stiff limbs as they rose from their chairs and gathered their things.

“Finally, I thought today would never end,” said Amanda, throwing her school bag casually over her shoulder. She faced the rest of the Luna Nova students and said, “Hey, I found this cool arcade when I was checking out downtown yesterday. Whaddya say we – hey, where’d Diana go?”

The five remaining witches looked back at Diana’s desk and realized the blonde Brit had already vanished within seconds of the final bell. They didn’t have to wonder where she went before Lotte caught a blur of something shooting past the windows. The girl leaned against the glass and turned their eyes to the sky, spying Diana straddling what looked like a dirty mop and soaring over the rooftops of downtown.

“That girl is totally whipped,” Amanda commented amusingly.

“Did she just steal the janitor’s mop?” asked Lotte, bewildered.

“Should we go investigate as well,” Nova asked Midori. “Since Luluco is with her?”

“Do you actually care?” Midori replied nonchalantly, too busy playing with her phone.

“Not particularly,” Nova answered bluntly.

“Just making sure we’re on the same page,” said Midori.

“I honestly feel bad for Luluco,” said Michiru sympathetically.

“Please hold up for a second,” Ursula called out as the students started walking to the doors. Everyone paused and looked back at the blue-haired woman. “Just a reminder: tomorrow, after classes, we will be having the talent show. It hasn’t been decided who will be performing yet, so everyone, make sure you’re ready.”

“Excuse me, professor,” said Iori, raising his hand, “but why are we having a talent show?”

“Well…,” muttered Ursula, scratching her cheek awkwardly. “Because Mikisugi-sensei said…” She pushed up her glasses and did a surprisingly accurate imitation of Mikisugi’s voice, “’Wouldn’t it be fun?’ So…yeah…”

“Geez that exhibitionist perv really loves doing things at his own pace,” Ryuko grumbled.

“There’s nothing we can do about it now,” said Satsuki sagely. “Mikisugi-sensei is the teacher. And good students must follow their teachers.”

“This coming from the woman who lorded over the faculty like a dictatorship,” said Ryuko.

“What kind of school did you guys go to?” Nazuna sweatdropped.

* * *

Back at the park:

“So you like pickled plums, too?” said Luluco positively.

“Yeah, they’re the best!” Akko shouted cheerfully. “They’ve got just the right amount of sour that makes your mouth pucker, but doesn’t completely overload your taste buds! No one at Luna Nova appreciates the refined taste of pickled plums.”

“I think it’s more of a Japanese thing,” Luluco giggled. “Like this one time – “

“Akko! Akko!”

The little witch and space patrol officer perked in their seats, looking left and right down either direction of the park walkway. When they didn’t find anyone walking their way, Akko had a sneaking suspicion and tilted her head back toward the sky; Luluco saw this and followed her direction. Diana appeared over the tree canopy before gently floating down to land on her feet in front of their bench. Luluco thought the blonde Englishwoman looked relieved when she looked at Akko, but for some reason seemed to give her a nasty glare.

“Diana, what’re you doing here?” asked Akko. “And why’re you riding a mop?”

“It was all they had,” Diana grumbled embarrassingly. She straight her posture and coughed importantly in her fist, saying, “I thought you would like to know that classes have ended for the day, which you completely missed, by the way. Professor Ursula was very disappointed.”

“Gurk!” Akko chocked; disappointing Ursula was like kicking a puppy in the face.

“Anyway…,” Diana continued, looking away shyly. “Amanda invited everyone to the arcade downtown and I thought you would like to come.

“That sounds awesome! Let’s go!” Akko cheered, jumping off the bench. She walked a few paces, then turned back to Luluco and said, “I don’t know how we ended up in this world, but it looks like a really fun place, don’t you think?”

Luluco hummed thoughtfully for a moment, smiled, and said, “Yeah, it’s really fun.”

“Bye, Luluco-chan!” Akko waved as she walked down the path. “Let’s talk again some time!”

“Bye, Akko-chan!” Luluco replied cheerfully.

Diana watched Akko as the Japanese witch merrily strolled by, humming a happy little song under her breath…. The English witch turned her head sharply toward Luluco, making the Space Patrol office lurch backward in a fright. Diana’s face was strangely shadowed and there was a dark, menacing aura around her, like the kind you would see in an anime where the character was absolutely furious. Luluco inched slowly toward the edge of the bench, prepared to take off any second –

“Diana, hurry up, or Amanda will hog all the good games!” Akko called from the park gates.

“Coming, Akko,” Diana replied pleasantly, her menacing aura magically vanishing.

Luluco stayed back as she watched the witch leave the park, a slight sweat running down her brow.

‘ _Who knew making friends could be so dangerous?_ ’ thought Luluco.

* * *

The next school day came almost at the blink of an eye; so fast that Akko and the others honestly couldn’t remember what they did last night, or if they did anything at all. Akko didn’t really put much thought into the strange phenomenon and just chalked it up to this weird new world. Instead of walking to school with Lotte and Sucy today, Diana had offered to join her instead. It might have been her imagination, but the Japanese witch thought Diana was being a more…clingy ever since she went to the park with Luluco. But that couldn’t be right; Diana was nothing but cool and levelheaded. She didn’t get jealous…right?

For the past few days since arriving in this world, it had usually been Mikisugi-sensei waiting by the gate to greet the students and catch people when they were late. But today, Professor Ursula was standing in his place. Akko was smiling when she caught sight of the blue-haired witch. Ursula was her favorite teacher back in Luna Nova, so when the others told her that she was teaching classes, Akko almost regretted going with Luluco yesterday.

“Good morning, Ursula-sensei!” Akko shouted cheerfully, waving her hand enthusiastically.

“Good morning, professor,” Diana greeted in a calmer fashion.

“Good morning, Akko,” Ursula said pleasantly. “Good morning, Diana. You’re in a good mood today, Akko.”

“Just looking forward to another good day,” said Akko cheerfully.

“That’s a good attitude to have,” said Ursula. “I’ll see you both in class today.”

The little witches bowed respectfully to Ursula and walked off into the school building. Ursula was pleased by how well Akko was taking this new world. Then again, Akko was always the one who looked forward to the strange and unusual more than most. At least in this school, the other students weren’t making fun of her as bad as they had when she first started Luna Nova. It eased the feeling of guilt that weighed on her chest –

A few minutes later, the Space Patrol group showed up at the school gates. Ursula noticed right away that they weren’t wearing the space suits they arrived with. Luluco and Midori both wore pleated blue skirts and pink-and-white stripped ribbons that were part of a school uniform, but Luluco wore a beige vest over her shit white while Midori wore a loose sweater. Nova, however, wore a completely white uniform with a fluffed collar and a stylized “A” on his chest.

“Good morning, professor,” Luluco greeted positively.

“Good morning, Luluco,” said Ursula. “I see you found some new clothes.”

“Yeah, Nova-kun found this clothing store downtown yesterday,” said Luluco. “Though it’s kinda weird how they had the _exact_ same uniform as we did back home.”

“No weirder than the rest of this place,” Midori remarked.

“That’s good to hear,” said Ursula. “Well, you’d best be getting off to class.” The Space Patrol bowed politely and walked away. “Well, it seems like Luluco has started to calm down. Whatever Akko said yesterday must have gotten through to her. She does seem to have a talent for that. Now….

She looked down the road, raising a curious brow.

“Everyone from Luna Nova and the Space Patrol has already shown up,” Ursula hummed, looking at the checklist on the clipboard she was carrying. “As well as most of the Honnoji class and the Beastmen. But there are still four missing: Ryuko Matoi, Satsuki Kiryuin, Michiru Kagemori, and Shirou Ogami. Hmm…it’s unusual for a diligent student like Satsuki to be late. I wonder if something happened….”

* * *

Ryuko was sprinting full speed down the street, her lungs burning with every step, while Satsuki trailed along behind her without even breaking a sweat. The dark-clothed delinquent checked the time on her watch – only to remember that she wasn’t wearing one, nor did she carry a cellphone. Not like checking the time matter at this point, she thought. She already knew she was going to be cutting it close.

“God damn it!” Ryuko cursed. “Why’d you wait so long to wake me up, Sats?!”

“I was planning to,” said Satsuki, her facial features betraying no expression, “but then I saw your adorable sleeping face and I couldn’t bring myself to awaken such a cute angel.”

“The fact that you can say something so disgusting with a straight face is impressive,” said Ryuko with a grimace. “Wait, does that mean you were watching me sleep the whole time?!”

“All eight hours,” Satsuki admitted without hesitation.

“That is so creepy!” Ryuko snapped. She glared down at her uniform. “Why didn’t _you_ say something?”

“ **Satsuki threatened to cut my seam line if I made a sound,** ” said Senketsu apologetically. “ **I had no choice….** ”

“God, my family is full of freaks,” Ryuko muttered. “Ugh, it doesn’t matter. If we don’t hurry up, we’ll be late. And I’m still not over my trauma from that No Tardy Day thing. What the hell were you even thinking making something up like that anyway?!” she snapped at Satsuki.

“I had my reasons,” Satsuki said plainly.

“Never mind,” Ryuko groaned. “Let’s speed things up.”

“Right,” Satsuki nodded.

Ryuko sprinted harder, only slightly increasing her speed, but when Satsuki suddenly zoomed past, the juvenile delinquent grounded her feet to a halt. Ryuko’s jaw dropped as she watched Satsuki run down the street so fast, she was leaving afterimages of herself in her wake.

“ **Has she always been that fast?** ” asked Senketsu, sweatdropping.

“God damn it, Sats!” Ryuko screeched outrageously. “How the hell are you so much faster than me! That’s just ridiculous!”

Ryuko doesn’t know how her older sister could have heard her from so far away, but Satsuki stopped in her tracks, pivoted around on her heel, and zipped straight back to Ryuko. The elder sister didn’t even stop as she ran past Ryuko, snatching her up around the waist and carrying the delinquent over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Satsuki extended her arm and grasped a utility pole to spin herself around and take off back down the road. Ryuko and Senketsu only blinked at the absurdity of the whole thing.

“Don’t worry, little sister, I will carry you to school!” said Satsuki firmly.

“…Okay, this is definitely faster,” Ryuko muttered, “but I definitely feel like my pride is taking a huge hit.”

“Nonsense! You are wonderful when I pick you up and carry you!” Satsuki stated with solid conviction. “You look like a proud and noble Kiryuin!”

“I don’t want the same name as our psychotic mother,” said Ryuko, sweatdropping.

“ **At least we’ll be able to make it to school on time,** ” Senketsu noted.

“Yeah, but you don’t see any other teenage girls being carried around like luggage,” said Ryuko. But when she tilted her head up, her expression turned shocked as she witnessed Shirou carrying Michiru under his arm like a handbag behind them. “I do!”

“Michiru?” Shiro grumbled irritably.

“What?” Michiru said lazily.

“I know we’re running late, but isn’t this a bit much?” said Shirou.

“This is just the fastest way for us to get to school on time,” said Michiru nonchalantly. “We’ll get there faster if you carry me than if I run on my own.”

“Don’t you have the legs of a cheetah?” Shirou questioned, giving her a pointed look. “I specifically remember you having cheetah legs during your baseball stint.”

“It’s way too early in the morning for weird animal mutations,” Michiru excused. “Besides, a man should always be willing to help delicate ladies in need.”

“Delicate my ass,” Shirou grumbled. “Don’t you have any pride?”

“Pride that I’d lose ‘cause an angry wolf guy was insulting me?” said Michiru. “Nope!”

“You little….”

But when the Beastmen looked forward and noticed Ryuko staring at them owlishly, they both went silent. Ryuko and Michiru locked eyes, both grimacing awkwardly with nervous sweat on their brows. No matter how one looked at the situation, it was simply too embarrassing….

“…Sats, put me down after all,” Ryuko said after a moment’s pause.

“All right,” said Satsuki strangely.

“Shirou, put me down after all,” Michiru said tonelessly.

“I figured as much,” grumbled Shirou.

Everyone stopped in their tracks as Satsuki and Shirou set their respective charges on their feet. Ryuko and Michiru grumbled under their breath, not sure what they could say to make the scene any less embarrassing than it already was. But they thankfully – or maybe not – spared of any further awkwardness when they heard the high school’s first bell in the distance.

“Oh crap, we’re going to be late!” Ryuko and Michiru screamed simultaneously.

* * *

Professor Ursula checked her watch, humming. There was less than a minute till the final bell. Almost all the students had been accounted for except the four. She wondered if she should mark them tardy until she heard a bunch of shouting coming from down the road.

The first thing she saw was Satsuki and Shirou sprinting at full speed toward the gate while Ryuko and Michiru were a small distance behind them, the latter pair breathing heavily. Within seconds, Satsuki and Shirou dashed past Ursula beyond the school gates, just in time before the final bell sounded. But the other two….

“Crap, we’re not gonna make it!” Ryuko cried.

“Maybe you won’t!” said Michiru. The tanuki girl kicked off her sneakers as her legs morphed to resemble those of a cheetah. “Catch ya later!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Ryuko snapped.

Before the shapeshifting girl could take off, Ryuko lunged forward and grabbed her by Michiru’s bushy tail, pulling her back hard. Michiru squeaked, both from having her tail grabbed, and from being lifted off the ground by Ryuko’s ridiculous strength. Michiru was tossed over her shoulder, throwing face down into the sidewalk, and Ryuko broke into one final sprint toward the gate. But when she skidded to a stop in front of Ursula –

“Ryuko Matoi…you’re late!” said Ursula. Ryuko dropped to her knees, crying out in defeat. Ursula looked to the left where Michiru was trying to sneak her way over the wall. “Michiru Kagemori, you’re late too!”

“Damn it!” Michiru cursed as she fell off the wall.

* * *

And that was how Ryuko and Michiru ended up standing outside the classroom, holding a bucket of water in each hand and balancing a third on their heads.

“…You know, I never understood how this was considered a punishment,” Ryuko said suddenly.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re basically making us skip class,” said Michiru. “A real punishment would be to make us _stay_ in class, am I right?”

“True that,” said Ryuko, chuckling. “So…your name’s Michiru, right?”

“And your Ryuko, yeah?” Michiru replied.

“How’d you do that thing with your legs back there?” asked Ryuko curiously. “Is that something all Beastmen can do?”

“Nah, just something that me and Nazuna have,” answered Michiru. “And what about you? That was some freaky strength you had going on back there. I know a lot of strong Beastmen back home, but that was a whole ‘nother level. It’s almost like you weren’t human.”

“Well, technically, I’m not _completely_ human,” said Ryuko.”

“Huh?” Michiru muttered, confused.

At that moment, Ryuko and Michiru set aside their water buckets, completely ignoring the fact they were being punished, and got to talking. They told each other about their lives and what they were doing before they ended up in their current world.

Michiru learned that Ryuko had gone through a literal hell back in Honnoji, what with her father being murdered and being relentlessly targeted by her classmates set upon her by Satsuki. There was also how she discovered Senketsu, a sentient sailor uniform that could amplify Ryuko’s natural abilities a hundred-fold. Ryuko went into detail about her battles against Satsuki, the Elite Four, and some “psycho bitch” named Nui Harime. Then came the revelation of her being the daughter of Ragyo Kiryuin, her world’s “Big Bad”, ultimately making her the younger sister of Satsuki, her long-time-enemy-turned-ally. And if that wasn’t enough, it turned out the Senketsu and all of the Life-Fibers were alien parasites planning to swallow their whole world and spread their seeds across the galaxy. Michiru couldn’t help thinking Ryuko’s lifer sounded like a sci-fi soap opera.

Ryuko had learned a little bit about Michiru’s world in return. Humans and Beastmen both lived in her world, but the Beastmen were targeted for blatant racial discrimination and forced to seek settle in Anima City. Michiru herself used to be human until she suddenly transformed into a Beastman completely out of the blue and forced to leave her old life behind. She told Ryuko her theory about how she and Nazuna transformed shortly after an accident they were involved in, but couldn’t confirm anything. She met Shirou and all of her friends in Anima City after many harrowing adventures until she was reunited with Nazuna again. Unfortunately, Nazuna had been taken in by a cult and grew to love being idolized as a god, putting a serious strain on their friendship.

“Man, that’s gotta be rough,” said Ryuko sympathetically. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to give up your whole life for something out of your control. I never had the most stable life to begin with, so I never felt bad about leaving.”

“You had your own problems,” said Michiru understandingly. “I mean, dad dead, enemies at every turn, your biggest rival turns out to be you big sister, you mom is a genocidal lunatic, and, of course, aliens! Seriously, how can you keep up with all that?”

“Sometimes I pinch myself to see if it’s just a dream,” said Ryuko jokingly. “It never is.”

“Excuse me!” Ryuko and Michiru went stiff as Ursula exited the class, giving them a stern look. “You’re supposed to be holding those buckets!”

“Sorry, professor!” Ryuko and Michiru apologized together, picking up their discarded buckets.

Satisfied, Ursula walked back into class. Ryuko waited until she was sure the professor couldn’t hear them and muttered out of the corner of her mouth, “Hey, wanna get lunch together?”

“Sounds good,” Michiru replied.

* * *

When the bell rang over the intercom for lunch period, Ryuko and Michiru met up together, much to the confusion of Satsuki and Shirou. They both decided to take their lunch to the roof because 1) it was an anime staple and 2) because they could go up there freely whenever they want unlike a high school.

They both sat cross-legged on the ground with their lunches in hand. Satsuki went out of her way to make Ryuko’s lunch for her, but the overbearing had given her a three-tier bento box filled to the brim with food – way too much for an ordinary person to eat. But Ryuko wasn’t an ordinary person and Satsuki was a surprisingly good cook, so she didn’t complain. By comparison, Michiru looked at her sad excuse for a lunch consisting of melon bread, cup ramen, and a drink from the vending machine. Stupid cheapskate Shirou….

“You noticed that almost everyone seems to have some kind of super power?” said Ryuko. “I mean, there’s my group with their Kamui and Goku Uniforms. Then Akko’s bunch has their magic and that magic staff thing she’s always carrying with her. Your guys are turn into animals while you and Nazuna can practically shapeshift into whatever you want. And Luluco…. Wait, what _can_ they do?”

“Space…stuff…?” said Michiru, shrugging. “But yeah, I know what your saying. No matter how you look at it, from an outsider’s perspective, everyone here’s a freak.”

“But proud freaks,” said Ryuko, waving around her chopsticks. “Sure, being half-Life-Fiber is a little weird, but it’s the reason why I can talk to Senketsu. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.”

“ **And I’m glad I got to meet you, Ryuko,** ” said Senketsu.

“Yeah, I guess there’s some positives to being a Beastman,” said Michiru, taking a bite of her bread. “I got to meet Shirou, and Jackie, and Nina. And I guess Marie’s fine since she saved me the first time, but she’s always driving me up for money. I barely have any pocket change left.”

“Yeah, not having money is the worst part about Honnoji,” said Ryuko, grimacing. “Never having enough to buy real food and instead having to stick with whatever Mrs. Mankanshoku puts in her mystery croquettes. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing cook, but I’m pretty sure most of her ingredients aren’t sanitary. Then again, money has its own problems. I learn that the hard way with that whole Fight Club incident. Still, it was nice to have my own room for a change, even if it was only for a little while. I love the Mankanshokus, but having five people and one dogs sleeping in the same room is enough to drive anyone crazy.”

“Yeah, that’s really tough,” said Michiru, nodding sagely. “Gem and Melissa give me a little allowance every week, but not enough to go crazy with it.” Ryuko stiffened, a piece of fried chicken halfway to her mouth. “They probably don’t want me to blow it all – not that Marie doesn’t try to take it all anyway. But I guess that’s okay since they let me sleep in their attic for free.” The fried chicken slipped off Ryuko’s chopsticks. “And I occasionally help Shirou out on some cases for the mayor. She’s been helping me figure out why I’ve turned into a Beastman. She’s pretty nice; even helped me get registered and settled into a new home – “

“Wait,” Ryuko muttered suddenly. Michiru looked at her sideways as Ryuko stared back with a hollow look in her eyes. “…What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s…not as great as you think,” said Michiru nervously. “I mean, my best friend kinda doesn’t like me right now…and there were a lot of dangerous incidents – “

“What the hell?” Ryuko rumbled again, a menacing aura surrounding her.

“I’m just saying it’s hard for both of us,” said Michiru, slowly backing away.

The dark-haired delinquent cast a shadowed look at the tanuki girl. Michiru started to think it might be a good idea to run away, but before she could make a move, Ryuko suddenly lunged forward. The next thing she knew, Michiru was gasping for breath while Ryuko caught her in a choke hold, her eyes flaring red with anger.

“It’s not hard for you at all!” Ryuko snarled. “You got a nice room! You get an allowance! You’re buddy-buddy with the mayor and a whole bunch of people! How is that hard?! I have to share a one-room house with five other people in a school where everyone is trying to kill me! I don’t even know what I’m eating ninety percent of the time! I’ve been beaten to death on a daily basis! I was molested and brainwashed by my own _mom!_ And you say that _you_ have it hard, you raccoon bitch!”

“I’m…a…tanuki…,” Michiru wheezed.

“Like I give a shit!” Ryuko howled. “ ** _DIE!_** ”

And is how the unlikely friendship of Ryuko and Michiru was born and died in less than a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been in a happy mood recently, which is why I chose to update this story again instead of taking a trip to the edgy-verse (as a reader of mine decidedly dubbed).
> 
> When you think about it, Ryuko really has a raw deal out of all the characters. She has to sleep in the slums in a one room house with five other people, her only friend is Mako, and everyone else in the world is out to kill her. Compared to her, Akko, Luluco, and Michiru have it pretty good. At least they have their own rooms.
> 
> And on a final note, apparently someone started a trope for Trigger Quartet without telling me. If anyone feels like it, go check it out and maybe even help build it. It’s honestly an honor to have two stories on the site.


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